Basic Love Language Concepts to Ease Stress and Increase Joy in Caregiving Families

by Nov 5, 2020Self-Care and Stress, The 5 Love Languages® for Special Needs Families0 comments

Caregivers need easy, effective ways to stay emotionally healthy. These basic love language concepts can lead to less stress and more joy.

Basic love language concepts are tools caregiving families can use to ease stress and increase  joy. And who doesn’t want that? Here are three basic love language concepts that can help you get less of the first and more of the second.

Basic Concept #1

Dr. Gary Chapman, with whom I co-authored Sharing Love Abundantly: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, developed his love language theory in the 1990s. He believes that humans express love in five different ways.

  • Words of Affirmation: This language uses words, spoken or written, to affirm and encourage people.
  • Quality Time: A person with this love language want your undivided attention and time.
  • Receiving Gifts: Individuals with this love language feel most loved when they receive gifts.
  • Acts of Service: People who appreciate actions more than words gravitate to this love language.
  • Physical Touch: For these people, nothing speaks love more deeply than appropriate touch.

Basic Concept #2

The second basic love language concept consists of 3 simple statements.

  • Everyone has a primary love language, and many people have a secondary one.
  • We feel most loved when others use our love language.
  • To make others feel loved, we have to know their language and learn to use it.

So how can you discover your primary language and the languages of others? By taking the short and easy love language quiz. They are included at the end of the first chapter of Sharing Love Abundantly and in online versions at the 5 Love Languages website.

Basic Concept #3

The final concept to explore is the love tank. We are all born with a love tank that requires filling for our emotional to develop and mature. Heavy doses of love spoken in our primary and secondary languages can keep our love tanks full. When our tanks are full, we’re better able to use the love languages of other people and fill their tanks.

These basic love language concepts are discussed in greater detail in the first chapter of Sharing Love Abundantly. Other chapters in the book explain strategies for determining the love languages of kids who who have conditions that make the quizzes hard to use with them. So hang tight! I’ll be blogging about those strategies as this series continues. Or you can purchase the book at your favorite bookstore or on Amazon if you want to learn about them right away.

Other posts in this series:

The Love Languages and Special Needs Families: A Good Combination

Threats to Caregiving Marriages and How to Fight Them

Fostering Communication and Connection Between Caregiving Parents

Love Is a Child’s First Language

Determining the Love Language of a Child with Special Needs or a Disability 

Ways to Speak Words of Affirmation and Quality Time to Kids with Special Needs

Speaking Healthy Physical Touch to Kids with Special Needs

Using the Love Languages with Siblings of Kids with Special Needs and Disabilities 

Extended Family Members Can Use the Love Languages to Encourage Caregiving Parents

Communicating Your Child’s Love Language to Medical Professionals

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By Jolene

Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream websiteSharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.


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Meet Jolene

Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.



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