Once again, it’s my pleasure to introduce a new guest blogger, Rebekah Benimoff. In today’s post, she shares the story of how her family’s special needs adventure began. Though your child’s story may be different than her son’s juvenile diabetes diagnosis, I think you’ll identify with how she and her family responded.

A Juvenile Diabetes Diagnosis, Part 1

It began with rapid weight loss. Tyler dropped from a 4T, to a 2. A boy who was already small for his age began to look anorexic. When he started going to the bathroom every few minutes, I called my mom since my husband was deployed.  “Do you think it could be a bladder infection?” She suggested that it might be diabetes, and I simply could not take that in. I took Tyler to our doctor and shared what was happening. Within minutes I had the shock of my life. There were massive amounts of sugar in his urine.

We were sent to the hospital and the next days were a blur of shock, fear, and information overload. The Red Cross flew my husband home, and we struggled to cope. Tyler would dissolve into screams each time he had to have a shot. Desperately he would cry out for me to stop the doctors and nurses who were trying to keep him alive. I could only watch, feeling helpless and overwhelmed.  The first week was a nightmare, and the next year was not much better. My husband returned to complete the military mission, and I was left to care for a little boy who hated needles and was having diabetic seizures due largely to a doctor who over-medicated—an attempt force Tyler to gain weight. Tyler figured out that when he ate, he got a shot. So he decided he’d simply stop eating.

Moving Forward

A year later we found a better endocrinologist, and Tyler began to stabilize–just in time for Roger to deploy again, this time to Iraq. I had little time to do much other than survive. During Roger’s second deployment to Iraq, Tyler started kindergarten, and I began to work through an inner healing study. I discovered that I needed to work through quite a few issues related to the trauma of Tyler’s diagnosis, and the year that followed.

Fear

I lived in fear that Tyler would die. He was still having seizures and low blood glucose episodes, even after we had a doctor that listened to my concerns. Tyler’s body was still producing some insulin, so stabilizing blood glucose levels was a shot in the dark. Even after the “honeymoon phase” ended, and all of the cells that create insulin had finally been killed off (by his own body), Tyler was super sensitive to insulin. We were referred to the nationally renowned Barbara Davis Center for Pediatric Diabetes and Research, and had a wonderful support system, but I lived in terror that I would lose my son- if not now, then surely later. After much prayer, I came to the place of surrender. I pictured myself placing Tyler on the altar, much like Abraham did with Isaac, and I released my little boy to God.  I still go back to the altar now, every time fear creeps back in.

Forgiveness

I had a lot of work to do in the area of forgiveness. Many hours were spent praying over specific offenses related to the saga of diabetes—especially that first traumatic year. I had to forgive the doctor whose tactics caused Tyler’s seizures and low blood glucose episodes. I had to forgive myself for listening to the medical personnel, and not knowing better sooner. And I had to forgive God for allowing this disease to alter our reality.

Grief

When Tyler received his juvenile diabetes diagnosis, I did not grieve the loss of my dream for him to have a normal childhood. Later I realized I needed to work though that loss. About the time I freed myself to face the issues, my husband returned from Iraq with PTSD. So the process of working through all the issues has had some stops and starts as other, more pressing matters have had to be dealt with. In the last year or so, I’ve been able to work through much of my grief regarding parenting children with special issues, as we continue to adjust to life with a husband/dad who has a brain injury. It is a process.

I am realizing that Tyler, too, needs to grieve, in his own natural way, and that listening is really the best way to help him work through his feelings.

Sound Familiar?

Does Rebekah’s story sound familiar to you? Leave a comment about the emotions you experienced when your child was diagnosed. And come back tomorrow for Part 2 of this series, and hear about Tyler’s reaction to his juvenile diabetes diagnosis.

Part Two

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