In yesterday’s post, guest blogger Rebekah Benimoff shared her reaction and spiritual struggle after her son’s juvenile diabetes diagnosis . In today’s post, you’ll read about her son’s struggle to reconcile his disease and his understanding of God. See what you think.

A Juvenile Diabetes Diagnosis, Part 2

“Mommy, why did God give me diabetes?”

We were snuggled together on the couch; one of the fleeting treasures a mother of a pre-teen knows but only rarely. My son’s words tore my heart in two, but I remembered to keep quiet and let Tyler share. When he finished sharing how sad and angry he feels about his life-altering diagnosis, I was quiet for another moment, gathering my thoughts.

“Oh, honey,” I said, “I don’t think that God gave you diabetes…”I trailed off, uncertain how to express my own learning process in words.

“He could have stopped it.”

I was struck at how my son understands so much more than I give him credit for.  Isn’t this thought how we respond to every difficulty, every loss?

Why Didn’t He Stop It?

“Why didn’t he stop it Mommy?” Tyler asked.

I took a deep breath and whispered a prayer for wisdom. “Tyler, I believe that some things happen because we live in a sin sick world. Life is not perfect– not at all the way we want it to be.” I struggled for words. “Some people think God causes bad things so we can learn a lesson, but I don’t. I think God takes what the enemy intends for bad and He changes it around and uses it for good.”

“So the devil gave me diabetes?”

“Well…”, I trailed off.  All I was left with was the truth. “I don’t think so. I think our enemy does cause some of the bad stuff that happens.” But a medical diagnosis? “No, sweetie… I don’t really know why it happened.”

God Wants to Make Us Whole

I’ve experienced many faith groups that believe all illness is due to sin, passed down from one generation to another.  But I’ve been through a number of healing based studies, and each time I prayed and broke the curse of generational sin, God spoke to my heart the need to pray for my son to be healed, not just physically, but emotionally. We long for physical healing, for removal of all difficulties, but I am finding that most often it is our hearts, our souls that He longs to heal. He wants so much more for us than we want for ourselves. We want the trial to come to a sudden halt, yet God’s desire is to make us whole. He loves us that much!

God Wants to Heal Your Heart

I sighed.”Tyler, I don’t really know the answer. I don’t know why God allowed you to get diabetes.  What I do know is that God has told me to pray for your heart to be healed.” Tyler nodded, so I went on. “You see, I think that getting diabetes was very hard for you. It was so scary, especially in the hospital and that first year with so many shots and seizures.  I think your heart is hurt. I think you need to work through all the hard things you went through—all the hard things you still go through. I pray you will work through the grief and that God will heal your heart.” I touched my hand to his chest, covering his heart, and gave him a big bear hug.

“Yeah,” Tyler said. “It is really hard. I feel sad and angry sometimes.”

Isn’t that the truth? When bad things happen, that’s the natural response. I sought to encourage my son, to let him know that these feelings are normal and okay, and that I was there for him if he needed to talk more.

A Mother’s Goal

For Tyler, that was enough. Enough to know that his mom would listen, and not contradict. Not tell him he was wrong, or judge him for how he feels. We still don’t know the answer to our questions, but by being quiet, resisting the urge to talk and tell him what to do, and how to feel, we actually moved closer in relationship to each other. And to God, too.

As a mom, that’s my goal. To let my children know I am human, I am fallible, but I love Jesus.  I hope and pray that they will walk in God’s plans and purposes every day of their lives, accepting His grace and healing along the way.

What Hard Questions Are Your Kids Asking?

Whew, Tyler put Rebekah on the spot with his hard question about his juvenile diabetes diagnosis. And God gave her grace to answer with wisdom, faith, and honesty. So, what hard questions are your kids asking? And how did you answer? Leave a comment to share your wisdom or to ask other parents at DifferentDream.com for advice.

Part One

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.