On Friday, guest blogger Scott Newport shared Part 1 his story about going on vacation with his family a few years back. Making the trip wasn’t easy with medically fragile son, Evan. But the rare opportunity to go fishing with his other son, Noah, made the trip worth the effort. In the second part of this series, Scott tells about lessons learned from the sea gulls he usually considers pests.

A Shadow Cast, Part 2

After a great day with Noah and a good night’s sleep, I got up the next morning and decided to go to the lighthouse again. (I’m an early riser when we’re at home, since I fill in the gap from the time that Evan’s midnight nurse leaves at 4:30 a.m. until Penni takes over at 7:00 a.m. so I can go to work.) After a short drive up the scenic shoreline road, I arrived at the harbor. It was another perfect morning: a quiet beach, the lighthouse in the distance, not a cloud in sight, not a shadow cast to darken my day.

Oh, It’s Just a Seagull

Instead of walking down the sandy beach of Lake Michigan, I found a quiet place to park the car. I sat and watched the day develop over the lake, the water broken only by an occasional white cap making its way to shore. As my mind started to wander its way about my life, something flew past the car. I have always been a bit of a bird enthusiast, and this was no bird I’d ever seen before. I snapped out of my quiet, reflective mood and went into scientific exploration mode. Before I could scramble out of the car for a better look, the bird flew by again.

“Oh, it’s just a seagull!” I said, out loud and to no one in particular.

Searching for Shadows

But wait, was that the same magnificent bird I had just seen? It was. Somehow the rising sun was in just the right position to cast a shadow on the bird and give it a glory I’d never noticed before. I was so impressed with the shadow’s effect on that dirty old seagull, I started searching for other shadows.

I studied the shadows cast by the beach’s small mounds of sand, creating the effect of rippling water. Each mound had a distinct shadow, and the shadow changed as the sun rose behind me. The shadows gave individuality to each rise in the earth. I thought that without the sun beaming down on them, the depth and height of the mounds might never be noticed. And I thought about the Grand Canyon, about how the rising sun casts blue and purple shadows while at the same time lighting up the south rim as if it were on fire.

I’ve usually thought of shadows as having only negative attributes. Like how they’d spoil a perfect day at the pool when I was a kid. Or how monsters in Halloween haunted houses always hid in the darkest shadows. Or, like when Evan was born, some people said things like: “It must feel like you are in a tunnel with no light at the end” and “It must seem like you’re under a black cloud that won’t go away.”

Embrace the Shadows

It’s true that Evan’s birth cast a shadow on our family. But Penni and I love our son just the way he is. Then, as now, we embrace all the light he brings to us. We also embrace the shadows cast by his life because they outline and offset each moment we have with him, clarifying the depth and height of our love.

I still don’t love seagulls, but it is funny how my perception of them has totally changed. Where I’d thought of them as a downright unwanted species, I now see them in a different light. I guess you could say I have a new found appreciation for them. Maybe folks with disabilities—including my son—are like seagulls; sometimes they’re put into a caste and labeled “unwanted,” and “inconvenient,” and “embarrassing.” Society turns its head away when it passes you on the sidewalk. But instead of seeing people like Evan as a dark shadow, it would be great if society could see us as covered in the shadows that give depth and height and glory to life.

Beauty in Darkness

What I hope for now is that when the son does goes away and there are no shadows cast, I will learn to find beauty in the darkest of nights. I trust that the moon, which shines thanks to the unseen sun, will cast all new shadows for me to see. I also hold out hope that all people will learn to open their eyes and see the beauty of the shadow caste.

Scott (Noah and Evan’s Dad)

How Have You Embraced the Shadows?

I don’t think Scott will ever like seagulls much. Yet, a seagull’s shadow helped him appreciate life with Evan more than ever. What has helped you embrace life as the parent of a child with special needs? Leave a comment so we can learn from you.

Part One

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