I Didn’t Want to Learn Hard Caregiving Lessons, but Now I’m Grateful

by Dec 27, 2023Grief, Special Needs Parenting, Spiritual Support0 comments

Jolene reflects on a lifetime of caregiving: "I didn't want to learn hard caregiving lessons, but now I'm grateful."

I didn’t want to learn hard caregiving lessons in 2023. Mainly because I’m a big fan of easy. Hard? Not so much. Yet here I am waiting for 2023 to end—believe me, I’m ready to put it behind me—and at the same time embracing the hard lessons I’m about to share with you as precious gifts.

My entire life, literally since I was two years old, has revolved around caregiving. Therefore I assumed I was prepared for the challenges our family faced after my mother was diagnosed with dementia in 2008. That assumption proved correct until January of 2023 when Mom entered hospice care. Over the six months leading to her departure from this earth, advocating for her was all encompassing. I didn’t want, nor did I have time to learn hard caregiving lessons. With each passing day I became more grateful for how they drew and are still drawing me closer to God. And so, I want to share them with you.

  1. The why of caregiver grief is the same, though the who and what may be different. All grief is a response to loss. Young parents grieve the loss of children gone too soon or the losses related to their child’s disability. Growing children grieve what they don’t experience because their parents live with disabilities or because their parents were lost to disease. Adult children grieve as their elderly parents lose their independence, personality, and function. The universality of loss among caregivers can make us more empathetic toward all caregivers.

To read the rest of I Didn’t Want to Learn Hard Caregiving Lessons, visit the Key Ministry website.

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Image by Raven Ryann from Pixabay

By Jolene

Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Dance!, the third book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in October of 2023.

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Meet Jolene

Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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