In "The Quilt" guest blogger Stephanie Ballard contemplates God's unseen and seen plans for her son and her family. Tissue warning!
The Quilt is blogger Stephanie Ballard’s latest poem about being the parent of a child with a medical condition. In it, she transparently describes the blessings, fears, and feelings she continues to experience as her son gets older.

 

The Quilt

What if we are but a thread
In life’s grand tapestry?
What if there has been a plan
That we just cannot see?
Each thread entwines with others
In ways we had not planned.
I trust that there will come a day
When we will understand.

I dreamt a perfect life for you,
One without such trials.
A life with love and laughter,
Happiness and smiles.
And still, I often wonder–
Would I have changed a thing?
Still, I often ask myself,
“What will our future bring?”

And then somebody stops me
And says, “You’re very strong.”
And it remains my secret…
They couldn’t be more wrong.
It’s not my strength that gets me through.
It’s my hope for another tomorrow.
It’s leaning on Someone much greater
Who leads me through my pain and sorrow.

I realize now, how blessed I am
That my child is still here.
A miracle, each day we have,
And worth my every fear.
Pictures flash through my mind’s eye;
Each face, each life, each name.
Our paths crossed for a reason,
I’ll never be the same.

When my life is at its end,
And heaven lies within my sight,
I like to imagine an angel will come,
And I’ll know everything’s all right.
God Himself will take my hand
And show me the life I’ve built.
Much to my amazement,
He’ll lift up a beautiful quilt.

The craftsmanship? Amazing!
The stitches all etched with great care.
I’ll see my life, its ups and downs
In each and every square.
“Do you see your life,” God asks,
“Within each stitch I’ve sewn?
Two stitches are in every row.
You’ve never walked alone.

“Every tear and dream and hope
And all things left unsaid
Are etched into this fabric
With everlasting thread.
Every person you have touched,
Each life that shaped your heart
Lies here within your life’s quilt
Of which I’ve been a part.

“See here where it has been well-worn
And left a little tattered?
You faced your greatest hardships there
And learned what really mattered.
Here, where it’s embroidered
With intricate details,
This is where you have loved others;
Remember, that love never fails.

“Here the pattern changes
In a most amazing way.
This is where you thanked me
For yet another day.”
I ran my fingers down each stitch.
I couldn’t help but stare
As I could see my Master’s hand
In each and every square.

I dreamt a perfect life for you.
God chose this path instead.
You were sewn into my life
With God’s most special thread.

~Stephanie Ballard

Stephanie Ballard is the mother of two sons, her youngest son, Braeden, was born with Kabuki Syndrome and Congenital Heart defects. Her oldest son, Colin is in the military. She enjoys writing poetry and life lessons about her journey in life.
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