When All I Want Is to Be Done with Special Needs
One of the first words out of our oldest grandchild’s mouth was, “DONE!” He used it emphatically at the end of meals…
DONE!
When having his face washed or his nose wiped…
DONE!
Or my personal favorite…approximately two seconds after his parents put him in his crib for a nap and then carefully and oh-so-quietly shut the door to his bedroom…
DONE!
Lately, I’ve found myself silently echoing my grandson’s sentiments. When I’m asked to talk about my childhood spent caring for a father slowly being diminished by the ravages of multiple sclerosis. When someone wants to hear about the many surgeries our son’s endured during his early years. When I’m asked to recount our son’s diagnosis and treatment for PTSD. What I really want to say, instead of responding politely and patiently, is…
DONE!
Some days, all I want is to be done with special needs. I don’t want to talk about them I don’t want to think about them. After all, my dad died in 1997. My son’s surgeries and treatment for PTSD are distant memories. But, the truth is that I will never be done with those memories. They shaped and are still shaping the course of my life. They are part of who I am.
On days when I think I want to be done with special needs, what I really want is a way to create some distance, to carve out time to rejuvenate and gain perspective so I can continue the work God has given me to do. I’ve discovered some ways to make that happen. Maybe these tips can help you on those days when you want to be done with special needs, too.
To read the rest of this post, visit the Not Alone website at specialneedsparenting.net.
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By Jolene
Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.
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I know that feeling all too well! But we will never be done with special needs until we get to heaven!!
Rhonda, you are very welcome. Sometimes we forget that even God rested on the seventh day. If he needed a break now and then, so do those created in his own image. Jolene
I haven’t parented but I do sometimes think about this regarding disability ministry and yes some days with my own spina bifida. I have taken a much needed break and feel now I can get back in the game of life full force again. Thanks for letting me be human and vulnerable with this post?