The note guest blogger Kimberly Drew sent with this post said she had written about puberty and special needs. She is undeniably right, but reading her words, it became clear that the post is also a wonderful Father’s Day tribute to her husband as he defines his role in caring for their daughter as she goes through puberty.

Father’s Day, Puberty, and Special Needs

We celebrated Abbey’s thirteenth birthday in April, and I can no longer ignore the fact that I have a teenager. I cannot believe how fast these years have gone. Many of my friends are still announcing pregnancies and posting baby photos, and here I am with this teenage daughter. For most people, that phrase comes with a little fear and trepidation. For us it has definitely brought some unwelcome changes. Being a woman myself makes Abbey’s changing body not that big of a deal for me. But, my husband has had a really difficult time with this.

Can you blame him?

Taking care of the physical needs of a cute little four-year-old with ringlets is nothing at all like putting a bra on your teenage daughter. Some people have assumed that from now on I alone will be caring for her physical needs. This is ridiculous. Male doctors, nurses, and therapists all over the world care for adult patients of the opposite sex.

Trust me when I say that no one on this earth has more compassion for our daughter than her own two parents.

My husband doesn’t love changing diapers or giving baths, but we are in this for the long haul together. You should not assume that just because he is a male, it’s not appropriate for him to care for our daughter. No matter how her body changes, she will always be our little girl…and I need his help.

I can’t do this alone!

We recently read an article written by the father of an adult disabled daughter. Ryan connected with that article and began to understand that while it’s completely normal to be uncomfortable at first, a child’s physical needs can become just medical care. You can look at it from a medical perspective and get over the uncomfortable nature of a changing body. Before we know it, Abbey will become an adult. We plan on having her live with us for as long as possible.

Abbey will need a team of the two of us to continue to take care of her physical needs.

When we graduated from Taylor University, we received our diploma and a towel that symbolized the calling to go out with the heart of Jesus to serve other people. My husband has his towel framed along with his diploma. Here we are fifteen years after graduation, and I can tell you that for the last thirteen years my husband has been serving our daughter. We have come to a crossroad where a lot of men might want to walk away and refuse to help.

Not my Ryan.

With some encouragement, and the humble heart of a man who wants to serve like Jesus, he literally rolls up his sleeves to change a diaper, take a turn giving Abbey a bath, or get her dressed. She is so blessed to have a dad like that.

How Has Your Family Handled Puberty and Special Needs?

Is puberty and special needs creating changes at your house? How are you handling or did you handle caring for your child during the physical transition to adulthood? Leave your comments!

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