During January’s EA/TEF Awareness Month, Christine Lester shared her You Might Be the Parent of an EA/TEF Child If… (Part 1 and Part 2) here at www.DifferentDream.com. The response to her humorous and heartfelt series was overwhelmingly positive. So I asked Christine if she would like to be a guest blogger, and she readily agreed. You can learn more about Christine on the guest blogger page and by reading today’s post. In it, Christine describes the most memorable Valentine’s Day surprise she has ever received.
Valentine’s Day, 2002
On this day of love, I think of my most memorable Valentine’s Day. I can remember clearly what I announced to my valentine and family all those years ago. My gift would trump roses, candy and stuffed animals. On Valentine’s Day in 2002 we found out we were unexpectedly pregnant with our first child. This was only our first Valentine’s Day surprise.
I should have known then that my whole life would never be what I had planned out in my “to do” list of life. Our little Cupid would change my whole perspective on what a perfect baby would be. This bundle of joy was about to teach me how to love deeper than I ever had and make my faith unbreakable.
Something’s Wrong with our Valentine
Soon, ultrasounds and checkups would reveal that there was something wrong with the baby. We met with specialist and experts who seemed as perplexed as we were when they found multiple, but random, series of birth defects. The word termination had been brought up and quickly shot down by my husband and I. We had seen this baby. Heard his heartbeat, he had a name and a place in our hearts and our home. We loved him well before we ever met him. Our little valentine’s destiny was no longer in our hands.
Our Valentine Had VACTERL Syndrome
Months passed and we had more conflicting diagnosis from doctors. Yet, our baby seemed to be thriving despite his issues. We continued to pray and plan. In August we had a beautiful baby boy. Moments after birth he was unexpectedly whisked away for immediate emergency surgery in another state. It was not the birth experience anyone would want. A few hours after his birth we all had our “Ah ha” moment, as we had all the missing puzzle pieces now. Our little valentine had VACTERL Syndrome. Such a big diagnosis for such a little boy.
Our Valentine Is a Gift
NICU stays and hospitalizations would be added to our family timeline year after year. But now, I look at him, a boy nearly as big as myself and all I see is love when I look at him. I understand all children radiate love but what is it about a child with a critical illness that captures your heart and inspires you, teaches you to love in a whole new way? He reminds me why we are such a close family, and why we couldn’t wait to be a parents. He spreads love to everyone as he walks through life. I picture him like Cupid and little hearts follow him where ever he may go.
A Perfect Valentine
So, forget the roses, the candy, the sparkly jewelry. I’d take my child and the surprises that come with him, any day over that. Being a parent to him is like Valentine’s Day every day. In hindsight I couldn’t imagine a more perfect day to find out you’re expecting a miracle.
Your Best Valentine’s Day Surprise?
Don’t you wish you could meet Christine’s best valentine ever? I sure do. Though that’s not possible, you can share something about your favorite valentine. The comment box is open and waiting. Tell us who’s better than roses, candy, and sparkly jewelry to you.
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Lorenda,
Experiences like the one you described above are burned in a parent’s brain. Just wait. In three decades or so, you’ll find that the smallest details are still fresh and emotional. But time and distance will make them more precious and blessed.
Jolene
Anyone who has a child with special needs should take out stock in a tissue company. Tears are part of the job description. The longer you spend in Holland, the more the tears of confusion and sorrow turn to tears of joy. You remind us of that truth, Christine. That’s why so many people have responded to your post.
Jolene
Beautifully written Chris! Thank you for sharing this with us. You have an amazing way of writing what is in your heart, and beautifully putting in to words what is in my heart too. I am so thankful to “know” you and Billy and can’t wait to some day meet you in person!
You all have me bawling my eyes out…That wasn’t suppose to happen. LOL I’m just honored to know all of you. Both in the flesh and on a much deeper level. I know we have all had the most difficult, but the most rewarding journey ever! All of which would not of happened if we would of arrived in “Italy” but I’m so very thankful that we landed in “Holland”. Dispite how alike or different our flights were. Holland has Hank’s and Allen’s, Brandon’s and Bella’s, Billy’s and Noah’s and little Michelle’s. I can go on and on …Holland has everything that is beautiful. I couldn’t picture any other place on earth I’d rather be than in Holland with all you. <3
I also have had the pleasure and honor to meet Billy Lester. He and my Bella had a special bond from the beginning, they shared a NICU room. I was so blessed to have Christine sitting across from me as I watched the cardiac, blood pressure, oxygen monitors and IV drips for hours and hours at a time. I finally got to hold my little Bella one day, but no one was around except for this new friend Christine. She asked me if I would like for her to take a picture of me and my preemie baby. That picture is so dear to me even today. Although my daughter and Billy have very different struggles, we have a bond that will never be broken. Christine is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met in my life. Her husband, Billy, and their daughter Alissa are so amazing. Christine is so loving, caring, and incredible it’s hard to describe. God definitely hand picked her to be Billy’s Mommy. I love you dearly Christine.. Happy Valentine’s Day..
Thank you Jolene. <3
Dear Kristin,
IF EA/TEF is Hank’s only anomaly, he may not deal with as many issues as Billy faces. Our son’s only issue was the EA/TEF (he had complications when the stricture closed at 2 months and no valve to his stomach) but everything was EA/TEF related. We moved to a new town when he was three, and by the time he started school, he was so typical his teachers thought I was obsessive about his health. Now he’s 28, married, healthy (a small-average sized man) and very active.
Jolene
Dear Cindy,
I can see Christine and her family are blessed to have a supportive extended family. May every day be Valentine’s Day for your family!
Jolene
I love you Christine! You always sum it up so beautifully. After 10 yrs of trying and giving up, we were blessed with our little valentine.
And I will meet ALL of you one day!
I not only have the pleasure of knowing Billy, I have the HONOR to call him my grandson. He is everything my daughter says he is….and more. To look at Billy is to look in the face of love. He radiates this energy that gives you no choice but to smile & love.
I remember that Valentines Day so well, the day she announced my 1st grandchild was on his way! And OH!! What a joyous day that was! Yes it would be months of ups and downs but our faith never waivered…we knew this little valentine was an amazing gift of love, and he’s our little ray of sunshine, our ray of hope & our reminder that with faith, you can move mountains. He is the heart of our family and will forever be my valentine. ♥
But of course, I would love to meet Billy. Christine always makes me laugh – although, this one made me cry. Billy continues to be an inspiration as he fights battles that I can only assume Hank will face as he gets older. Like Christine, we also found out that we were unexpectedly pregnant with our first child. Unlike Christine, we were completely unaware of Hank’s anomalies until after birth.
Instead of doing a sonogram to diagnose me, my OB used my fundal height and her intuition to diagnose me with macrosomia (an abnormally large baby). Instead of seeing polyhydramnios for what it was, we were thoroughly expecting a 12 lb baby.
After my c-section, I was in the recovery room. Jayson, my husband, was out in the hall making calls to family that, “He’s here! And, he’s healthy!” I had regained control of my limbs after my spinal block with the on-call pediatrician came in to my recovery room. My first thought was, “He’s not supposed to be here!” And, he opened his mouth and said words that would change my life forever.
The well-baby nursery nurses had tried to suction Hank after birth and the tubing had coiled back up and out his mouth instead of going down his esophagus. The pediatrician gave us a quick run-down and said, “Tracheoesophageal fistula with esophageal atresia.” He also said that the good news was that he had examined him for some of the associated outward anomalies and he looked healthy.
They recommended we transfer Hank to a local children’s hospital that was familiar with this birth defect and had the resources to treat him. We transferred Hank that evening.
After three weeks of surgery, diagnostic testing, high blood pressure, dealing with social workers, scheduling follow up appointments and praying they didn’t find anything “wrong” with him, we finally got our discharge paperwork.
We came home on 2/5/2010. My first Valentine’s Day as a mother was spent sitting on my couch, my newborn son sleeping in the Boppy next to me and writing my letter of resignation to my employer. I had every intention of returning to work until my son was born. Instead, my husband and I decided that slowing things down, spending less money and spending more time was more important to our family than anything else. So, my best Valentine’s Day was spent quitting my job to spend my days raising him.
This Valentine’s Day, my little family celebrates the fact that Hank has proven incredibly healthy despite our rough start, and we celebrate that we are expecting our second child in August of this year.
I am so in love with all of these EA/TEF kids that we have “met.” They have changed my life just like Hank did. I think of them often, I do what I can to help when a family is hurting and I pray for them to pull through when their strength and perseverance is being challenged again.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!