Today’s post comes from guest blogger, Amy Stout. In it she captures her little girl’s starry-eyed delight in simple playthings. See what you think!
Pottery Barn and a Ballerina with Autism:
Twirl With Me
My daughter, Kylie’s, favorite place to play is at the Pottery Barn Kids store in one of our local malls Kylie goes immediately to the Madeline Play Vanity, sits on the little pink tuffit and admires herself in the mirror. She then finds the jewelry box display and spends the good part of an hour investigating the interior of the boxes. She opens each one slowly as though they contain a great secret. The treasure within is a beautiful, tiny ballerina that twirls in perfect time to the music.
Beautiful Ballerina with Autism
My daughter is mesmerized by these simple wooden boxes, and I silently observe as she studies the ballerina, takes a step back, places her sweet little baby arms in the same position as that of the ballerina and slowly begins to turn. I try not to make a sound as I don’t want to break the beautiful spell of the moment. My precious daughter is in a world of her own, make believing she is that sweet little ballerina. I feel tears pool in my eyes and I choke on the words that have gathered in my throat.
I realize then that we are not alone. A small group of ladies, employees and customers, have gathered. A hush falls over us and, as I glance at their faces, I realize they are feeling the same tug at their heartstrings. They, too, are taking a little walk down the memory lane of their own childhoods. When they rouse from their reverie and realize that I have noticed them, they comment on how beautiful Kylie is and how adorable she looks as she dances to the music- so innocent and oblivious to the audience that has been watching her.
This Ballerina Experiences Autism
What they don’t know is that my Kylie experiences autism They don’t know all the work, steps and conditioning it has taken to be able to even approach a mall let alone ride an escalator or elevator. What they don’t know (at least not yet) is that when I tell Kylie that it is time to go, this sweet ballerina will morph into someone entirely different – a very loud and unhappy someone. A someone who most likely will lay on the floor and scream because she cannot process why we can’t stay. She doesn’t understand what it means that the store is closing. Her communication difficulties are a barrier to expressing appropriately how she feels.
I have a decision to make. Do I take the time to explain to and educate these ladies, who are adoring my daughter, that she experiences autism so that they will understand when they see the transformation take place? or do I protect my daughter’s privacy and let them think that she is a horribly misbehaved child and that I am a terrible mother or worse that I have spoiled her and she is a naughty child. I know I’m not supposed to care about what others think, but I do – I always do.
Twirl with Me, Mommy!
Just then, Kylie catches my eye and reaches for my hand. “Twirl with me, Mommy?” she asks and how can I deny her? I gather her little fingers in mine and we twirl faster and faster. The struggle of what I know is to come falls away from me. I feel less overwhelmed. I feel like I can breathe. Kylie begins to giggle and I feel a smile tug at my lips. Now we are laughing together and this mommy is getting dizzy. We twirl and twirl and twirl! Kylie could keep spinning for much longer but, mercifully, she gives me a break. What FUN we have together! Can we freeze this moment? Do we HAVE to have a transition?
Oh, what I would give to stop the clock. Right here, right now with my baby’s hand in mine. The Autism seems so far away. I inwardly plead for more time…. I capture the memory in my heart…. I savor the moment…. I indulge…. I enjoy!
“Again! Again? Twirl Again?” she asks, with a sparkle in her eye and a giggle in her voice…
“Yes!”, I reply, “Yes! sweet Kylie, Let’s twirl again..and again…and again…”
More about a Ballerina with Autism at His Treasured Princess
For read more about Amy and Kylie, go to www.histreasuredprincess.com. You’ll also find links to Pottery Barn for Kids, the Madeline Play Vanity, and the jewelry boxes that fascinate Kylie. Makes you want to be a little girl again, doesn’t it?
Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.
Thank-you for sharing this story, it bought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful moment! I have a 2 month old that was born with EA and still in the NICU. Bless you and Kylie!
Nice to meet you, DiAnne. Kylie is blessed to have a grandma who loves her so much, too!
Jolene
Keep “twirling” with sweet Kylie. She has made such amazing progress and yet there are many hurdles to conquer! You are a wonderful Mother – made by God especially for Kylie! Thanks for sharing the successes and challenges that you both face every day. It helps me learn how to be a better “Mamaw” to our precious Kylie!
Love you both.
Hi Tammy,
Thanks for the reminder that progress will come and that challenges will remain. It’s so important to remember that all kids, those with special needs and those considered typical, face their own sets of challenges as they mature. Thanks for sharing both your daughter’s successes and her obtacles.
Jolene
Oh, what a rerun of my life with my daughter. We too have experienced the world of “transitioning”. When she was younger the looks we got when it was time to leave the zoo and she would sit on the ground screaming or refusing to leave. Those trips to the mall where dad would end up carrying her out and people must have thought she was either a brat or we were mean parents making our child leave.
Now this young daughter is 18. We have come a very long way and she has accomplished so much. BUT, the world of Autism (PDD-NOS) and developmental delay still controls our world. Just today she was ready for her door-to-door transportation service to take her to school. This ride is usually only herself with a driver, but today there was another passenger. She turned right around and ran into the house. There was no way she was getting in the car with another passenger since that was not the normal routine. The looks I got from the driver and passenger!! All I could do is apologize.