Today’s post will be the last in the interview series with Greg Lucas. (Click on these links to read Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four, if you haven’t already.) Today, Greg gets very transparent and shared some advice he wishes he’d followed much sooner than he did. See what you think about what he has to say.
Greg Lucas Interview, Part Five
Turn to God
The most important advice I could give any parent (or person) is this: Take all your anxiety, pain, frustration, confusion, concern, disappointment, loneliness and weariness and cast it on the Lord (1 Peter 5:7; Psalm 55:22). Turn away from sin and selfishness and turn in faith to Jesus’ death on the cross for the payment of your sin. Exchange your death for His life; His death for your life. Only then will you be truly able to see the amazing story of grace that God is writing through your adventure and the disability of your child.
Get Help
Then, get help—lots of help. Surround yourself with advocates and professionals and family and friends. Realize you can not do this on your own. Take advantage of respite in order to rebuild and refresh. The divorces rate in America is right around 50%. For parents of special needs children it is right around 75% (conservatively). Some sources claim the rate is in the high 80% range.
Let People In
One of the biggest mistakes I have ever made was the mistake of not letting people into my life with Jake. For years I had the mentality that no one could care for my son like myself. I held on until I nearly self-destructed, along with my ministry and marriage.
Today I am (somewhat) sane, still serving God and still married to my wife of 21 years. Not because we have it all together, but because we trust in Him who holds everything together. Not because I held on tightly in my own strength, but because I finally and humbly released my grip and reached out to those who were waiting to help all the while.
Your Advice is Welcome, Too
If you have advice to add to Greg’s, please leave a comment. And if you haven’t yet visited Greg’s blog, Wrestling with an Angel, be sure to take a peek. It’s great!
Wrestling with an Angel, Part 1
Wrestling with an Angel, Part 2
Wrestling with an Angel, Part 3
Wrestling with an Angel, Part 4
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Glad it spoke to you, Kathleen. Blessings to you as you care for your little one.
Jolene
Dear Kay,
I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to respond to your email. And I’m sorry you have had to deal with the comments of people who don’t realize how brave you were to say no to an abortion. They also don’t understand how courageous you have to be to care for your son with all his needs.
Are there any other blog readers out there who could help ease Kay’s sense of isolation? Anyone have any words of wisdom for her or ideas of where she can find more support?
I’m praying for you, Kay. Though I’m not nearly as good a listener as God, you can talk to me, too.
Jolene
Dear Sharon,
How true – no matter how old we get, God calls us to humble ourselves and to love one another. For most of us (myself included), learning to do those two things takes a lifetime!
Jolene
excellent advice. Thank you for this wonderful interview. I am blessed to have read it. God bless you and your family, Greg, and you, too, Jolene.
Sometimes God is the only One I have to talk to.
In my case I became pregnant wearing a copper 7 IUD which couldn’t be removed.
My doctor suggested I have an abortion because the presence of the IUD meant a 25% chance of a miscarriage and another 24% chance of some kind of infection which could kill me and the baby I was carrying.
All prenatal tests were normal, so I said no to the abortion.
Today our son is grown, is blind in his left eye, deaf in his right ear, is mentally handicapped, non-verbal, hyperactive, has autistic tendencies, has seizures, and has only one kidney.
A few years ago, after years of being toilet trained, suddenly started wetting himself. His doctors can’t find anything wrong and said some mentally handicapped men do this as they get older.
There are folks who have told me, “God gave your doctor the intelligence to be a doctor, you should have listened to him and has that abortion.”
So it’s true that God is often the only One I can talk. to.
You said: Surround yourself with advocates and professionals and family and friends. Realize you can not do this on your own.
Good advice! Also good advice for all people- My son is now living in a wonderful facility but I realize as a middle age adult woman I still need to humble myself and seek out the support of others. There is a reason God wants us to “love one another”.
You hit the nail on the head once again in this post! Thank You!