How can an EA/TEF parent’s anxiety be held in check before their child starts school? Karena Skibinski began asking herself that question several months before her son started preschool. In today’s post, which is part of Different Dream’s ongoing series for EA/TEF Awareness Month, Karena writes about six actions that helped her the most. She hopes they will help you too.

Three years ago, we were still in the thick of our NICU stay with our son, Lincoln. Shortly after he was born, he was rushed to the nearest children’s hospital (which, turns out, is one of the best in the nation) and was then diagnosed with Esophageal Atresia (EA), Type C. Two major surgeries, one G-tube, and 87 days later, he was discharged. His first 18 months were a blur and were filled with various doctor appointments, dilations, scopes, and various therapies.

Fast forward to now. He turned 3 this past October, and things have been going well. Instead of all of those appointments, our days are filled with nature walks, Lego, potty training, playing with his big brother, and trying new foods. Lincoln reached a big milestone in August. He started preschool. He attends the same preschool as his big brother, so he was somewhat familiar with the building, some of the teachers, and the general morning/pickup/drop off routine.

I was a different story. Aside from when Lincoln was discharged from the NICU, his starting preschool was what I was most anxious about. This would be the first time he’d be in the care of someone else, as we made it work for me to stay home with him those first few years. I had so many questions. How would he adjust? How could the teachers keep an eye on him with so many other kiddos in the classroom? What about the sickness that inevitably comes along with starting school? All of these questions—and about 100 more—were swirling around in my mind at least a few months before the first day.

Here are 6 things that made the transition to preschool easier for our family.

1. Therapy for myself: I’ve been in therapy for several years now, and it’s been one of the best things for my overall well-being. I am a huge advocate for therapy! It’s truly wonderful to have a scheduled space with a trusted therapist to continue processing the trauma related to Lincoln’s birth and the fears that go along with raising a medically complex child.
2. Implementing a solid general routine: This is foundational for any kiddo, and there is lots of research supporting the efficacy of a good routine. It builds predictability, which in turn builds confidence and space to learn, explore, and grow.
3. Meeting with the teachers beforehand, and ongoing open communication: Our school gave us the opportunity to meet with Lincoln’s teachers a couple weeks before school started. We also filled out paperwork related to general topics about Lincoln (e.g. what he likes, what he doesn’t like, etc.) as well as about his medical background, and a general mealtime plan that we went over face-to-face. This gave me peace of mind!
4. Getting a copy of the breakfast/lunch/snack menu and being in touch with the school chef: We went through the menu and identified foods that Lincoln may need modified or substituted (e.g. carrots, grapes). This is kept in the kitchen.
5. Providing a copy of this informational handout as well as a document that contained all of Lincoln’s medical background/medications: I found an outline similar to this in one of the EA/TEF Facebook groups that I am in. I emailed the completed document to the school about 4 months prior to Lincoln starting school. It was a way to get communication started about his condition. I’ve provided a short, one-page document with Lincoln’s medical background and medications. It is kept in his file at school. Should EMS ever need to be involved, the document provides them with quick information related to his medical needs.
6. Providing “just-in-case” items: I’ve heard some families provide yogurt for their EA/TEF kiddo to have during lunch time, but we’ve only provided a small can of Coke for the teachers in case of a “stuckie.” Coca Cola has been most beneficial for Lincoln in that situation.

Lincoln’s been in half-day preschool 4 days a week for one whole semester now, and things have been better than I could’ve imagined. Luckily we have had no issues, and going to school has had a positive impact on his overall development and our family dynamics as well!

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Photo by Mourizal Zativa on Unsplash