Guest blogger Kimberly Drew and her family recently welcomed a new daughter into their family. Her arrival caused Kimberly to calculate the true cost of special needs motherhood. Read on to learn her answer.

The True Cost of Special Needs Motherhood

It’s late at night and I’m staring into the face of our newly adopted daughter…trying to memorize her features. The shape of her eyebrows, the curve of her teeny tiny lips, and the exact shade of brown of her eyes. I keep thinking about how I would, and will, do anything for this little 7 pounds of miracle. Our oldest daughter is about to turn 14, and her special needs have given us a bond I can’t explain. The hundreds of doctor’s appointments, lab-draws, therapy sessions, hours of car rides to and from has a way of welding hearts together.

I cannot make it go away, but I will always be there when it’s over…

There is a chance we are starting that process all over again with our new little girl. We’re watching and waiting to see the toll that her birth-mother’s addictions, the lack of oxygen at birth, and prematurity have taken on her body. Her Apgar scores were 0, 0, and 0. She was released from the neo-natal intensive care unit (NICU) into the care of her maternal grandmother and my parents. All in their 60s, they found themselves rocking and holding a newborn in drug withdrawal at all hours of the night. We visited almost every weekend while we waited to get custody and to bring her home, but my mom was one of the primary care givers to this helpless little angel. With glasses on the end of her nose, she kept putting the nasal tube in every time the baby pulled it out. She paced the floor with a screaming infant all day for over a month, put her retirement on hold, canceled a vacation to Florida, and meticulously kept track of feedings and medications.

Not only did she care for her adopted grandbaby in her fragile and premature state, but she cared for me as well. When we called to find out what my parents thought about us potentially having two children with special needs, she quickly became my biggest supporter and cheerleader. She always has been. As we raise our oldest daughter Abbey, she takes my teary phone calls. From miles across the country she listens to my heartaches and then reminds me of God’s faithfulness. She helps me to believe in myself, and to believe that God will give me all I need to be the best mom I can be. She watches beauty unfold out of the pain, and celebrates with us when it turns into joy. I know what it’s like to watch my daughter go through that physically, but she watches me go through it emotionally.

She can’t make it go away, but I know she will always be there when it’s over…

The truth is, all good mothers try to help carry their child’s burdens in one way or another. It is the cost of special needs motherhood. But every sacrificed moment, every heartfelt prayer, every sleepless night has a way of making us into better human beings. We hope we will change our children’s lives for the better.

But the truth is, they are changing ours.

What Is the Cost of Special Needs Motherhood for You?

What do you think of what Kimberly calculated as the true cost of special needs motherhood? Have your calculations led to a different answer? Feel free to write it in the comment box.

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