The lessons I learned while raising a child with EA/TEF have been many and varied. That’s to be expected since our son was born in 1982 with esophageal atresia (EA) and a tracheoesophageal fistula (TEF), two conditions that left him unable to swallow and required immediate surgery.

Many of the lessons came about as a result of the surgeries and invasive procedures he endured between birth and age 5. Other lessons came later as he became more independent in adolescence and adulthood. I encourage you to use these ten lessons as a springboard for considering what you’ve learned as well.

1. I’m not in control, but God is and I can trust him. When the doctor diagnosed our son’s condition, I instantly realized God was in control and I wasn’t. Accepting that truth and trusting God with our baby’s life—or death—took about eight months. When I accepted this truth, raging anxiety subsided so I could be the mother our son needed.
2. Our child was a gift from God. He belongs to God, who gave him to us to steward for however long he lived. Realizing this truth allowed us to rejoice each day he was with us, to delight in him as he came into himself instead of molding him into what we wanted for him. I had to relearn that lesson often, especially when as an adolescent and young adult his decisions were not always wise or in line with my faith.
3. Write it all down. Journal about your feelings, about where you’ve seen God show up, and whatever else you want to record. You should also compile a written document containing your child’s health history and your observations about their individual EA/TEF journey. Make a paper copy to update as needed. Because your child has no explicit memory of when surgeries took place or the reason for them, present a paper copy to keep in a safe place when they turn age eighteen. Who knows when they may need it.

To read the rest of The Lessons I Learned while Raising a Child with EA/TEF visit the Key Ministry website.

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Road Image by jodeng from Pixabay; Leaves Image by Sabine Kroschel from Pixabay