Addressing Faith Struggles and Doubts as Special Needs Parents
Addressing faith struggles and doubts as special needs parents is normal says guest blogger Kristen Faith Evans. In today’s post she describes her journey and ways she found to draw closer to God when she doubted his goodness.
When my disabled daughter was younger, I didn’t understand how common it is for special needs parents to experience faith struggles. Gut-wrenching questions and chronic grief can create spiritual angst. I now realize that during this time of pain and confusion, we can deepen our intimacy with God and receive His comfort and help. But instead of drawing closer to God in my heartache, I pulled away in hurt and anger. I felt guilty for my thoughts toward God, so I stopped praying. As a result, I grew disillusioned with God, and my depression and anxiety worsened.
Consider these ways of drawing closer to God:
- Honestly cry out to God.
It can be easy to distance ourselves from God when shame-provoking thoughts arise. We may experience intense emotions and serious questions such as these:
- Confusion: “Why is God allowing my child and family to suffer?”
- Guilt: “Is God punishing me?”
- Bitterness and anger: “Why did I not have a healthy/typically developing child? or “Why did God allow the accident/illness to happen?”
- Doubt: “How could God be good?”
Many parents believe they shouldn’t be wrestling with these feelings or that they would be sinning if they admitted their questions. However, in Scripture we have the example of Job crying out to God, “Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul” (Job 7:11). Job expressed his honest emotions and questions without cursing God or sinning (Job 1:22).
Distancing ourselves from God can cause us greater mental, emotional, and spiritual suffering. We learn in Psalm 139:1-4 God already knows what we are thinking and feeling. So, I encourage you to not delay in having an honest conversation with God.
- Find comfort in the promises of Scripture.
- For guilt and shame: “Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.” (1 John 3:20, NLT)
- For sadness: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
- For confusion: “The Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” (Romans 8:26b, NLT)
- For doubts: “The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.” (Psalm 145:9)
- For hopelessness: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
- Seek support in Christian community.
It can be tempting to isolate and hide our true thoughts from others. Yet, other parents who have walked through similar spiritual struggles can support and encourage us with their faith and wisdom. They can pray and intercede for us. We also can uplift others. God “comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (II Corinthians 1:4, NLT)
I hope these practices bring you strength and healing while addressing your faith struggles and doubts as special needs parents.
All Scripture references are from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.
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Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
By Kristin Faith Evans
Kristin Faith Evans, MA, MS, LMSW is an award-winning author, national speaker, Licensed Master Social Worker, and a special needs mom. She is passionate about empowering caregiving parents with the skills to thrive, as well as equipping the professionals and ministry leaders who support them. Kristin and her husband recently released their new book, How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children with Disabilities. She has served in ministry for over a decade and is experienced in couples, child and family, substance abuse, and crisis interventions. Connect with Kristin and find lots of free resources at DisabilityParenting.com.
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