Emotions are information.

I was astounded when Margaret Vasquez, the therapist conducting a virtual workshop for parents about trauma-proofing kids, made that statement. Ever since her August workshop, I’ve been chewing on what she said. Thinking about the impact those three words have changed the way I now perceive my big feelings. About how those words could do the same for other parents raising kids with disabilities.

So bear with me as I attempt to unpack what Margaret meant when she said, “Emotions are information” and explain what that means for us as we parent kids with disabilities and special needs.

Margaret explained that emotions aren’t who we are. Rather, they are similar to physical sensations. When we feel something hot, cold, sharp, or painful, our bodies are alerting us to approach with caution something in our environment. When we feel emotions—big and small—our mind is alerting us to something internal that deserves our attention.

Her explanation was a revelation to a midwesterner like me. I grew up in a culture uncomfortable with displays of emotion—not only negative ones, but positive ones like joy, delight, and happiness.

As children, my siblings and I were not allowed to acknowledge the grief we felt as multiple sclerosis ravaged our Dad’s body and mind. As the young mom to a son who endured numerous surgeries and invasive medical procedures, I thought being a good mother to my child meant stuffing down the fear and grief, the anger and guilt I felt in order to concentrate on meeting his emotional and physical needs.

Yet here was Margaret saying that my emotions—and yours—were information designed to show us a better way to respond to them. By recognizing what our fear, anger, guilt, grief, shame, and a sense of abandonment are telling us, we can respond in healthy rather than unhealthy ways.

To read the rest of Emotions are Information, click here to visit the Key Ministry blog for parents.

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Photo by Oleg Moroz on Unsplash