Special Needs Mom, How Are You Doing this Mother’s Day?
![240508-JP-momsday-image final Jolene acknowledges the need to grieve as well as rejoice as she asks, "Special needs Mom, how are you doing this Mother's Day?"](https://differentdream.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/240508-JP-momsday-image-final.jpg)
Special needs mom, how are you doing this Mother’s Day?
Has anyone asked you that question before? Has anyone acknowledged that your feelings may not match what cards and commercials make them out to be? Have you had the courage to acknowledge, even to yourself, the swirl of emotions that surround you as the second Sunday in May approaches?
Joy.
Loss.
Love.
Grief.
Wonder.
Fear.
Gratitude.
Guilt.
I felt all those emotions as Mother’s Day and our son’s first birthday arrived within weeks of one another in 1983. I was a wreck that May—exhausted, worried, depleted, and unable to think straight. Though our son is now an independent adult, those early emotions tend to resurface each May. As our son got older, I became wiser about how to acknowledge my feelings and celebrate being a mom without letting difficult emotions rule the day. I hope these 5 lessons help you do the same.
Lesson #1: Enjoy your Child
Your child is a wonder, perhaps not the wonder you expected, but wonderful all the same. Take a moment to enjoy who your child is—or who she was if she’s no longer physically present. What about her makes you laugh? How does she surprise you? Why is your world better because of her? What has she taught you about love? Let your answers increase your joy in the wonderful aspects of her life and lighten your heart.
Lesson #2: Make Room for Grief
The joy your child brings is real and so is your grief. This Mother’s Day weekend make room to acknowledge this emotion for what it is—the loss of many dreams. Dreams of what parenting would be like. Dreams of how your child’s development would progress. Dreams of celebrating milestones. Write your thoughts down. Tell God how much your heart hurts. Admit how hard your grief is to bear. God knows a thing or two about loss and heartache. Let him hold you as you grieve.
Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.
Photo by Edward Howell on Unsplash
By Jolene
Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Dance!, the third book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in October of 2023.
Subscribe for Updates from Jolene
Related Posts
Special Needs Homeschooling: The Ups and Downs
Special needs homeschooling is full of ups…and downs. Guest blogger Lisa Pelissier knows this from experience. In this post she describes her adventures in homeschooling, which began long before she discovered she had joined the special needs homeschooling tribe. I...
We Need Community while Parenting Kids with Disabilities and Special Needs
Sandy Ramsey-Trayvick explains how we need community while parenting kids with disabilities and special needs.
The Impact our Words May Have on the Children We Serve
With narratives from her past, Jolene demonstrates the impact our words may have on the children we serve.
0 Comments