How to cope during a rough caregiving season. What? Who wants to write about that topic when doing so usually comes from hard experience? That’s the case for guest blogger Lisa Pelissier who describes what’s been happening at her house and what’s helping her cope these days.

It’s been a rough season.

My husband’s health has collapsed and he can’t work more than a few hours a week.

My son with high-functioning autism can’t sleep and has been depressed and anxious.

We had Covid this summer, but not all at once. First the girls succumbed, which meant 2+ weeks of quarantine. A month later I got it. Another 2 weeks of quarantine.

And my youngest got diagnosed with autism. Which really doesn’t change anything. She’s still exactly who she was before the diagnosis. The only difference is that I feel more tired.

Just what I needed.

People ask me how I’m coping, and it’s easy to answer that question with a “Hanging in there,” or “Doing okay.” But that focuses on the I’m part of the question. I think a more helpful question for me to ask myself pertains to the how part.

How do you hold it together when things are falling apart?
How do you cope when everything seems to go wrong all at once?

Here are my answers about how to cope during a rough caregiving season:

Cry when you need to. It’s not a bad thing. Instead of stuffing grief under a sleek layer of artificiality, just cry. You’ll feel better.

Regain perspective. This isn’t the first time things have been this bad. We got through it before and we’ll get through it this time. It’s only hard because we’re looking at it from the midst of it. Looking back, we may decide this wasn’t so bad after all

Identify Blessings. It’s not all bad. The A/C works, my favorite blessing of the summer. The cars are holding up for the time being. Our kid with PANS seems to be in remission and doing well. We have a loving church family and a great homeschool group. And the neighbors have 23 cats, so we can always find something soft to snuggle. Identify the blessings in your life and enjoy them.

Maintain Friendships. I have several friends who are also in the midst of rough seasons. While I wouldn’t wish their troubles on them, it’s helpful that God decreed their troubles to occur at the same time as my own. We can’t solve one another’s problems, but we can commiserate and even joke together in the trenches.

Trust God’s Providence. There is a temptation to ask, “Why is God doing this to me?” Don’t give in to it. A few years ago I was suffering an excruciating pain disorder. But the clear comfort of God enfolded me. I never doubted for a moment that God was doing something for me, not to me. And He is the same now. His refining hand is like a sculptor carving a stone into something beautiful. It stinks when He’s lobbing off huge chunks of rock to get what He wants out of the raw material that is you, but you can trust Him. He has a plan and a purpose.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
And let endurance have its perfect result,
so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
James 1:2-4

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