To Be a Better Caregiver: The Art of Technological Restraint

by Kimberly DrewMar 15, 2017How-Tos, Special Needs Parenting2 comments

What does it take to be a better caregiver? Kimberly Drew shares her idea in today's post about how to practice technological restraint.

A recent moment of clarity showed guest blogger Kimberly Drew how to be a better caregiver. Her revelation may not be quite what you expect, but it could make you a better caregiver, too.

Once in a great while, I have moments of mental clarity. The haze of information overload and technical jargon dissipates, and I feel like my soul can breathe. This happened recently when my husband and I took an afternoon hike. Except for a photo at the top of the hill, we didn’t look at our cell phones.

It was wonderful.

However, when we were done, my smart phone had notifications of trivial things that “needed” my immediate attention. The phone puts me at the constant disposal of anyone and everyone.

What can be a tool to enhance life can also be an iron shackle.

This last year, my social media account exploded with hatred from all sides. A Huffington Post article written by an opposing worldview left me shaking and teary and sleepless. Events are added on Facebook and if you don’t RSVP, you’re considered rude. Then there is the problem of looking fake or shallow if you put up too many smiling photos or cheerful status updates.

This is insanity.

Social media is like an online scrapbook of your life. There is nothing wrong with sharing the highlight reel. But, we are not the sum of our photos and status updates. We live in an age where transparency and vulnerability trump discretion at every turn. I can’t wrap my head around some of the unattractive ranting, raving, and complaining that happens on social media. We have lost the art of a proper word given at a proper moment for a proper purpose.

Social media sharing sites are a free-for-all.

There is also the problem of current news, politics, world news, and the internet. There are a lot of stressors we cannot avoid because we are caregivers. I once did an online survey from a reputable health site about my “actual age.” I was surprised to see that the results added an entire decade to my age because I am the caregiver of someone with special needs.

Stress is not good for the body.

It’s necessary to abstain completely from technology and media. They can be powerful tools that improve our lives. I get several blogs and devotionals sent to my e-mail. I love having a phone, knowing I can make an emergency call when I’m driving and find directions to a new specialist. The question at hand is this: Do we want to add the extra and unnecessary negative voices and time constraints that come from unbridled technology and media use?

At the end of the day, no one will quiz us on current world politics or our online presence.

However, if we don’t get a grip on technology use, we will lay in bed at night trying to drown out the negativity so that our minds can rest. The full time care of our children with special needs takes a lot of time, energy, and effort. We want our precious children to get our absolute best. To give our best, we have to be our best. To be our best, we might have to go against the cultural grain and pull away from some of the standards of use for technology and media.

To be a better caregiver, we must practice technological restraint.

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By Kimberly Drew

Kimberly grew up and went to college in the small town of Upland, IN. She graduated from Taylor University with a degree in Elementary Education in 2002. While at TU, she married her college sweetheart and so began their adventure! Ryan and Kimberly have four amazing kids on earth (Abigail, Jayden, Ellie, and Cooper), and a baby boy waiting for them in heaven. Their daughter Abigail (Abbey) has multiple disabilities including cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, hearing loss, microcephaly, and oral dysphagia. She is the inspiration behind Kimberly’s desire to write. In addition to being a stay at home mom, Kimberly has been serving alongside her husband in full time youth ministry for almost fourteen years. She enjoys working with the senior high girls, scrapbooking, reading, and music. You can visit Kimberly at her website, Promises and Perspective.

2 Comments

Jolene on March 16, 2020 at 1:04 pm

You make an excellent point, Anita. I often encourage caregiving parents to take advantage to online support groups and to build friendships on them. But always, parents should be alert to signs that a group or person is negative, or as I like to think of it “toxic.” Those groups and relationships will do more harm than good, and parents should be prepared to remove themselves from such situations and seek out groups that are warm, supportive, and point people to positive solutions and resources.
Anita Tallman on March 13, 2020 at 7:24 pm

Thank you for this insightful and absolutely true assessment of social media’s assault on our peace of mind and well-being. Although I am not a caregiver I can relate having witnessed my sister-in-law’s 33 years of being one to their son. Social media is her only connection to the outside world in an otherwise isolated environment. But it doesn’t offer the warm, caring support that she needs. She is overwhelmed and exhausted much of the time but she is driven to reach out to what can be an unforgiving, thoughtless network. After a day of total care duties there is a need to reach out and say, “I’m here and this is what I’ve gone through today. Can you hear me? Do you care?” She has connected with some great people who have become friends but she is also open to the harsh realities you describe so well. But if she cuts off her lifeline she is drifting at sea alone. I wish there was a safe harbor for her and all caregivers who feel cut off from the world.❤️