Different Dream welcomes Dove Award winning songwriter, author, and speaker Steve Siler as today’s guest blogger. He shares the story that led to his recently released book about parenting a child with spina bifida and how he and his wife found the healing every special needs parent requires.

Healing for Every Special Needs Parent’s Heart

My wife Meredith and I have always chosen to be rather private about our personal story surrounding the diagnosis of our son’s spina bifida and subsequent four years of surgeries. I first broke that public silence with a blog post on the Music for the Soul website.

But when I decided to write a book about my journey in ministry I felt I needed to be even more transparent about the events surrounding our son’s birth and early years. After all, the experience had gone a long way toward deepening our faith and enlarging our compassion for others.

My wife, understandably, was reluctant to share the details we’d always kept to ourselves. Its amazing how much pain we still carry in our hearts all these years later even though our son’s outcome turned out to be much better than we were originally led to expect.

The Breaking of Every Special Needs Parent’s Heart

Ultimately, my wife graciously allowed me to share part of our story in my new book Music for the Soul: Healing for the Heart. As I was writing I had the chance to relive memories that I believe, although bittersweet, shine a light on the range of conflicting emotions that co-exist for parents loving a child with special needs.

We’d moved to Nashville from Los Angeles a little less than a year before Henry was born. When he was diagnosed I called the pastor from our old church in Los Angeles for comfort, Dr. Larry Keene. He told me, “It’s been my experience that special needs kids are compensated in the spirit.”

There was a side of me that thought he was just trying to make me feel better. But it wasn’t long after Henry was born that I felt as if I began to experience what Larry was talking about.

The Healing of Every Special Needs Parent’s Heart

Henry’s spirit was evident from his first steps. In the beginning there’d been some doubt as to whether he’d ever be able to walk. I still remember how I felt when Henry pulled himself up and took his first steps with casts on both legs!

Overjoyed. Distressed.

In his preschool years the sweetness of his spirit emerged. I found myself saying, “Henry’s the only person in our house with a reason to be upset and the only one who never is.” Even as a little guy he never met a stranger. He’d as soon hug a stranger as look at them.

When he got to be five or six we started playing touch football in the yard. “I’m a fast runner,” he’d proclaim, breaking my heart with his effort. His running was barely a fast walk.

He wanted to play in a soccer league so we signed him up. We’d sit in the stands and watch Henry’s futile efforts to be part of the action. He’d spend the entire game chasing after everyone else. The only time he’d ever get to touch the ball was when someone kicked it to him accidentally. But he worked so hard. At game’s end he’d look like he had taken a shower in his uniform.

So we knew there wasn’t any quit in him. But then came the day of a race at his elementary school. I was so afraid he was going to be embarrassed about finishing last. Instead he “won” the race before it was even over.

The Compensation of Spirit that Marks Every Special Needs Parent’s Heart

The teacher shouted, “On your mark. Get set. GO!” All the kids took off. But when one little girl got her feet tangled up and went down in a heap it was our Henry who stopped, turned around, came back and helped her to her feet.

Compensated in the spirit.

As parents of special needs kids we understand that while our kids may not be the fastest ‘runners’, they win a different kind of race every day of their lives.

How Has God Healed Your Special Needs Parent Heart?

Now that Steve shared how God healed his broken heart, it’s your turn. How has God worked healing in your heart and in your child? Leave a comment.

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