Guest blogger Sylvia Phillips knows that happy holidays aren’t a given for special needs families. In this post she shares 5 special needs tips for a happy holiday she has used successfully with her daughter, Bethany. They are yours to tweak so your Christmas season is as happy and blessed as it can possibly be.

5 Special Needs Tips for a Happy Holiday

Many families with special needs members dread the coming of the holiday season. Changes in routine, traveling, large and crowded family gatherings, noisy celebrations, and even unfamiliar smells coming from the kitchen or other people can all wreak havoc on our kid’s sensitive systems triggering extreme sensory overload and major meltdowns.

My special needs daughter Bethany, is an extreme creature of habit and a total control freak! She wants her routine to always be the same, and she wants every person in her life to always be in the place that she has designated to be theirs.

Changes in routines–hers and everyone else’s can throw her into an anxious, angry, and aggressive tailspin. She can barely stand it when her sisters have to go to work. In her mind they should be up in their rooms studying. All. The. Time. When her brother is not sitting in his usual place playing games on his computer she goes looking for him. She even tries to control where the cat can and can’t roam!

By now you’ve probably guessed that celebrating holidays is hard Bethany and even harder on the rest of us. If it was just Bethany, my husband, and I, we might resign ourselves to having a quiet holiday at home with the most minimal of changes changes to our routine. But since we have eight other kids and one absolutely adorable grandson to consider, we can’t, nor would we ever even want to exclude them from our holiday festivities just for the sake of avoiding a difficult day. That would be just too darn sad for all of us.

Over the years we’ve tried different coping strategies in our attempt to keep holiday anxiety and meltdowns to a minimum. Without a doubt these are my greatest tried and true, Bethany-approved, special needs happy holiday tips.

Tip #1: Stay home for the holidays. Bethany is most comfortable in her own home so staying home affords us the best chance of having the happiest holiday possible.

Tip #2: Prepare ahead for the big day with a personalized holiday social story. A couple of weeks before the big day write a social story using pictures or words (if your child is a reader) describing what will happen on the holiday. Go over the story with your special someone at least once a day. Be sure to include any changes in routine that may happen and who holiday visitors will be. We want to eliminate as many surprises for our kids as possible.

Tip #3: Plan ahead to eliminate potential meltdowns. Designate an area of the house as a “calm down” spot where your special needs loved one can retreat to in case the celebration proves to be more than they can handle. Be sure to inform holiday visitors ahead of time what area of the house will be off limits and explain why so they won’t be offended.

Tip #4: Declare some items off limits. Does your special child have a favorite toy or other item that he might be anxious about visiting kids getting a hold of? Make this day one time that he or she will not be required to share and let visiting families know ahead of time what items will be off limits. Again, explain why so they understand and hopefully will not be offended.

Tip #5: Decide upon a reward or incentive. Lastly, together with your special needs loved one decide upon a reward of some sort as an incentive to try their very best to successfully tolerate, endure, and dare I say, even enjoy the holidays without having an anxiety attack or major meltdown!

Your Special Needs Tips for a Happy Holiday?

Do these special needs tips for a happy holiday work for you? Or have you discovered others that make your holidays much happier? Share your ideas in the comment box.

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