Autism Journey: One Dad’s Reflection
Photo Credit: Sira Anamwong at freedigitalphotos.net
With Father’s Day arriving in a few days, I’m pleased to introduce today’s guest blogger, Tim Dahlin. We have known his family for more than two decades and watched their story unfold. Tim’s story is a touching reminder of how special needs changes and enriches the parenting journey.
Autism Journey: One Dad’s Reflection
I am a dad of a son with autism. Now no longer the baby we brought home from the hospital or the little child we could lead along, Jonathan is an 18-year-old and 6 feet tall! And it has been a journey. Recalling that journey brings back many happy memories: memories of hiking together in the Grand Tetons, scaling Harney Peak in the Black Hills, and canoeing down the St. Croix River. I remember being called into the back yard by my son where the telescope was focused on the Orion nebula and the binoculars on the Andromeda galaxy. I remember listening when Jonathan identified the pitch of the bell that went off in our car and realizing that it was not a crazy idea to try him with piano lessons after all.
Autism Journey: Not Without Pain
Our autism journey has not been without pain. I remember together with my wife packing suitcases and crates as we prepared to move back from South America to the States and realizing that the course of our lives was being irreversibly altered.
I remember sitting in church on a Sunday morning and, as we were singing “[God] gives and He takes away” and being so moved that I went running out of the auditorium.
I remember standing by my wife and being unable to fix her pain as our dreams were shattered and the future became an unknown.
But I also remember when life seemed to come unglued and a few brothers and sisters in Christ came alongside us and ministered to us.
I remember those individuals who have reached out to Jonathan and who have become his friends.
I remember coming to the realization that, far from being a source of shame, being Jonathan’s dad is a high honor and privilege indeed.
And I remember God pouring joy into my life by the bucketful.
Autism Journey: Lessons Learned Along the Way
What have I learned on this autism journey? I have learned that clouds come in dozens of forms and I have observed myriad ways that water swirls around in a creek. I have together wondered with Jonathan whether King Hezekiah was tall or short. I have learned that behind a puzzling exterior, that at times seems impenetrable, is a world to be discovered.
I have learned that love has many languages. I have learned that God sometimes remarkably answers prayer and that when our strength runs out, God’s grace takes over. I have learned that parenting a special needs child can make a marriage deeper and sweeter. I have learned that we need those with disabilities among us in the body of Christ, the church, and that welcoming an individual with challenges has the potential for opening up fresh channels through which God’s grace may flow.
Autism Journey: No One Is Indispensable
There are times when I am tempted to leave Jonathan home from church. Well, you know, he might say or do something embarrassing. But I try not to do so for not to include him would somehow make a statement that his presence is dispensable. Dispensable, that is a horrid word, isn’t it, when we are referring to one who is made in God’s image? Embracing and welcoming any human life may very well bring pain and inconvenience along the way. That may be especially true when we are dealing with a person with a disability. But not to welcome that person or to keep that person at a safe distance will rob us of joys we might not otherwise know. How much I would have missed were it not for Jonathan!
Your Autism Journey Reflections?
Okay, Dads, now that we heard from Tim, it’s your turn to reflect upon your autism journey or whatever special needs parenting journey you’re on. You can share your story in the comment box. Happy Father’s Day!
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By Tim Dahlin
Tim Dahlin and his wife Carolyn are missionaries with ReachGlobal. Tim works with an online school based in Costa Rica training leaders for churches in nineteen Spanish-speaking countries. Tim and Carolyn are currently living in Fairmont, Minnesota, where they work with a Hispanic congregation. They lived and served for a number of years in Venezuela, where their three children, Joel, Karin, and Jonathan were born. Jonathan is an avid reader and loves music. He played tuba in the band and the piano. He recently graduated from high school, and his senior piano recital was incorporated into his graduation party.
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Sylvia,
Those were wise words from Tim, weren’t they? I’ll be praying for you as you rethink that earlier decision!
Jolene
As a mom who decided long ago not to go to church anymore because taking my daughter with me is difficult to put it mildly, your words, “Not to include him would somehow make a statement that his presence is dispensable.” have really making me re-visit my decision. Happy Father’s Day!
Your experience is so true for our parents’ generation, Anita. Isn’t it wonderful to hear from dads like Tim who are changing the face of special needs fatherhood?
Thank you for sharing. My developmentally disabled sister was born in the 1960’s. My father was a wonderful man, but from the generation of men who believed their only role was to be a provider for their family. He was not involved in the day to day care and upbringing of my sister or any of his children. It is wonderful to see men who are actively involved in their children’s lives. May God bless you and Jonathan. Happy Father’s Day.