Today it’s a pleasure to introduce you to Jared Buckley, the latest guest blogger to join the Different Dream gang. In his introductory post, Jared confesses the parenting weaknesses that were exposed after the birth of his daughter, Fayth, who lives with Down syndrome and tells where he finds strength.

How A Special Dad’s Weakness Is Exposed

Fayth Needs Open-Heart Surgery

The blue skin tone was appearing and cognitive heart failure was emerging. CHF was not supposed to develop this quickly. Fayth was just over one month old. We knew she needed open heart surgery, but it was too soon. We needed more time. Instead, we rushed to the cardiologist. After a routine echocardiogram…(Routine? Since when did echocardiograms become routine?)…A routine check, it revealed Fayth needed surgery soon.

Soon?

I associate soon with hours, not days or even weeks. We impatiently waited a month and a half for our surgery date. How does a dad wait to fix a problem? Simple. He doesn’t. I was ready to sterilize my hands and do the surgery myself. Finally, on Fayth’s 3-month birthday, we released her to the surgeon and the tears of apprehension rolled down our faces. Impatience now had turned into insecurity.

Special Dad’s Weakness Exposed

All my weaknesses were being exposed. I couldn’t control the situation, fix Fayth’s heart, nor fully protect my family like I had hoped. I was brought to my breaking point. Dads are supposed to be strong, courageous, and protectors of the home, but I was not. Why couldn’t I be that dad? Why was I left feeling like I had failed as a father? My attempt to be Fayth’s strong dad had fallen short.

Lesson for a Dad Fighting to Be Strong

I was learning a lesson through Fayth’s journey. God taught me about weakness, a taboo for all dads. I thought I couldn’t be weak or shouldn’t be weak, but I was. My knees buckled as I cried for help and raised my hands for a rescue. I had lost my dad card. I had lost my strength.

God help me.

God did help, but not like I imagined. He helped by teaching me weakness is not failure, but a virtue most desirable. It is the front door to true strength that rises above hardship, suffering, and pain. It is God’s strength. I was not the dad I hoped to be, but became a better dad through my weakness. My weakness and insufficiency was exposed, only to find the very strength of God awaiting my embrace.

When I Am Weak, Then I Am Strong

Paul says this in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I needed to be a dad owning my weakness and embracing God’s strength.

In the book of Genesis, Jacob wrestled with God, pleading for a blessing. God obliged and blessed Jacob, but also gave him a limp. I call this a special blessing. I too have wrestled with God and left with a special blessing. A blessing that truly encounters the strength of God. I am no longer a dad fighting for strength, but owning my weakness so I can embrace God’s full strength.

I am a self-proclaimed weak dad walking with a limp, a special blessing, and I am loving it.

Your Special Needs Parenting Strengths and Weaknesses?

Has special needs parenting revealed strengths and weaknesses in you? If you’re brave enough, join Jared in confessing your strengths and sharing the source of your strength by leaving a comment in the box below.

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