Self-Care for Special Needs Moms: Stop and Smell the Flowers

by Oct 22, 2013Self-Care and Stress, Special Needs Parenting0 comments

Self-care often comes last for moms raising kids with special needs. Guest blogger Sylvia Phillips shares her recent resolve to practice self care now.

Sylvia Phillips knows what it’s like to care for a child with multiple special needs for years and years. In today’s guest post, she talks about a self-care practice she wishes she had instituted much earlier in her care-giving experience.

Remember to Stop and Smell the Flowers

Parents of special needs kids have a lot going on all the time. Getting our kids to any number of a variety of therapy appointments, doctor appointments, specialist appointments, getting referrals, contacting insurance companies, keeping prescriptions straight, picking up medications, attending IEP meetings, keeping track of respite hours used, and a whole host of other important things are enough to drive even the most laid back parent into a frenzy of anxiety! I know because I’ve been there and done that!

Those are all good and necessary things that we must do for our children. It all comes with the responsibility of being entrusted with a special needs kid.  It’s just the way life is and we accept that. We carry on and do what we’ve got to do.

Recently though, I’ve realized that I always feel rushed. I’m always hurrying and scurrying to finish eating my meal before Bethany needs me. I’m always rushing through shopping trips before Bethany has a seizure. I always hurry to complete my tasks before I need to get Bethany to an appointment.

I keep telling myself that we can enjoy life later sometime in the future when somehow everything will fall into place and we will be able to stop and smell the flowers.

You’re cheating yourself out of today. Today is calling to you, trying to get your attention, but you’re stuck on tomorrow, and today trickles away like water down a drain. You wake up the next morning and that today you wasted is gone forever. It’s now yesterday. Some of those moments may have had wonderful things in store for you , but now you’ll never know. ― Jerry Spinelli

Stop the world. I need to get off now! I need for my family to somehow begin enjoying at least bits and pieces of our lives right now! We are missing out. We parents of special needs children must find moments of enjoyment to share with our families right in the here and now. We must find moments of joy in between doing all that other necessary stuff!

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this. ― Henry David Thoreau

I for one, don’t want to spend the rest of my life merely existing while waiting for something better. I want to create something better right here and now!

I need to sit outside in the backyard and listen to the song birds sing.
I need to take my kids for a walk in the woods, through the flower garden, or across the beach.

When my child has an appointment in the city I can set aside an extra hour or two, pack up all the kids and take them on a fun outing to the zoo, the children’s museum, or the science museum. If there’s not enough time for something like that perhaps we can just go to the park to play, picnic, and enjoy nature in the great outdoors for just a little while!

We are always getting ready to live but never living.–Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don’t want to waste another minute of my life. I don’t want to waste another minute of my family’s lives. Right here, right now today I choose to live life to the fullest to the best of my ability!

Do You Need Time for Self-Care?

How about you? Could you use some time to stop and smell the flowers? Or have you figured out a way to practice self-care? Your thoughts are welcome. Leave a comment.

Photo Source: www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Meet Jolene

Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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