Date night? If you’re the parent of a child with special needs, you may be asking yourself, “What is date night?” Guest blogger Kimberly Drew gives her answer to that question in today’s post.

What’s a Date??!!

Every now and then, I see a friend post something on Facebook about a date they went on with their husband. I want to comment–but refrain–with, “What’s a date??” It’s not that my husband doesn’t want to go out with me, or that I don’t want to go out with him, we’ve just made a really bad habit of not going out together. When we were in premarital counseling, our pastor told us to make sure that we spent quality one-on-one time together at least once a week. At twenty, I remember thinking, “Is this guy crazy?? We’re going to be together EVERY NIGHT!” Well let me tell you, twelve years, three kids, and a full-time ministry later…we’re lucky to go out one night every three months! As the parents of children with special needs, there are more than enough obstacles to having quality time with your spouse. I’d like to offer several suggestions for carving away some time together.  Who knows, maybe my husband and I will take my advice!

1. Date Night without Dinner Out: For starters, we’ve had to let go of the idea that a date has to include dinner. We’ve found that some of our best nights out have been after the kids are in bed. It’s so much easier not to have to worry about anyone feeding our daughter, giving her nighttime meds, and getting all the kids to bed. One of my favorite nights out was for dessert and coffee at a restaurant only a half a mile down the road from our house. We had plenty of time together, enjoyed great conversation, and got home in time to snuggle up on the couch and watch a saved episode of our favorite show before bed. I’m sure that I don’t need to point out the benefit of saved cash!
2. Date Night on a Budget: That money stuff can be a real problem sometimes too, can’t it? I know that you probably have the same revolving door of medical debt that we do. More often than not, we don’t go out because we don’t have the money to pay for a babysitter and a night out. It’s easier in the warmer months when you can do things outside that are free, but in the cold months like February, you have to get creative. Pick your favorite search engine and take a few minutes to look up some date ideas that don’t cost money.
3. Date Night Is Quality Time: I also think it’s important to redefine what quality time means. It doesn’t always have to be a “date.” For instance, you could try serving side-by-side at a nonprofit organization of your choice, at your child’s school, or even getting in some exercise together. My husband and I work with senior high students together. We love it, and it’s nice to get involved in something outside of our normal life. It gives us plenty to talk and laugh about too.

Good marriages and relationships take time and work.  Don’t let February pass you by without reserving some quality time for each other.

Your Date Night Advice?

Well, Kimberly gave her date night advice, and now it’s your turn. What’s your best date night advice? Or what was your best date night ever? Leave a comment. 

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