Grief and loss are emotions experienced daily by parents of kids with special needs. Those emotions can be difficult to share with parents whose kids are healthy and typical. Maybe that’s why parents like us bond deeply and find hope in our relationships with other families in the special needs community. Today, guest blogger Scott Newport gives an example of the importance of hope and those relationships through a story and the poem it spawned.

Grief and Hope on the Other Side of the Mountain

Growing up, I didn’t learn how important it was to listen to others and then engage with them in life. Today, I know a little about it and the importance of relationships. Recently, a woman wrote me this note. Listen to her words, imagine what she sees, and allow yourself to feel the deep emotional side of her epiphany.

I know we have never met, but today I thought of you. I was driving the 3-hour drive with my son to see the cardiologist. On the way, we passed through several rock ledges where rocks (mountains) have been dynamited to make roads. As I drove today, I noticed (for probably the thousandth time) the trees that grow here and there, way up on these sheer rock walls, defying all probabilities. Against all odds. And I thought my son is like those trees. In spite of his heart, in spite of what modern medicine says, he defies the probabilities. He beats the odds. He grows though what should be impossible. And then I thought “Scott would get this. He could write a poem or story, and it would make sense.”

After I read this note I knew what she meant, and I wrote this poem. Originally I thought the words of the poem would be about her son and his life-limiting heart disease but soon found out it was about her hope as a mom. The funny thing is, it’s also about my hope as a father who has lost a son to heart disease.
Anyway I want to thank Sharon for engaging me with this story and my ability to listen beyond the words.

Sharon’s Sky

By Scott Newport

Even though her son
Has heart disease, she
Still drives on looking,
Searching for answers

Standing there in the midst
Of the impossible, her eyes
Open nature one morning
Silently unraveling
A truth she has passed
Many a time
(She told me one thousand times)

The tree perched on
A cliff where soil
Has been etched away
By the winds of poor
Prognoses given
By those who
Pass by

The mountains held
Back by a reverse in
Nature—signs of drilling
And dynamite remain

The sky with seemingly
No foundation except
For her hope to
See another

On the other
Side

How Do You Deal with Grief and Loss

Sharon found hope in grief by sharing with Scott. Scott dealt with his grief and found hope by writing a poem. (He also recommends CompassionateFriends.org as a grief resource.) What outlets provide comfort for your grief? Where do you find hope? What resources and organizations do you recommend? You can reach out to others by leaving your ideas in the comment box.

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