The Welcome to Holland Thing & the Big Bad Thing
A while back I ran across a post at SupportforSpecialNeeds.com, one of my fave special needs websites. At first I didn’t like it much. But, I couldn’t stop thinking about it either, which I always consider a sign of something that deserves more time and inquiry.
The Holland Thing & the Big Bad Thing
Therefore, I reread the post and pinpointed what rubbed me wrong about the post. The first bothersome thing was the author’s dislike of what he calls “The Holland Thing.” Not because I find “The Holland Thing” (It’s real name is Welcome to Holland) particularly helpful, but because other parents do find it helpful. So his dislike seemed to disparage those who draw comfort from it. The second bothersome thing was the way he referred to death as “The Big Bad.” Until I realized the reason he named death so. He is afraid death will snatch the daughter he loves so much.
Meet Robert Rummel-Hudson
Once I realized that, I wanted to get to know the post’s author, Robert Rummel-Hudson. Turns out, he’s father to Schuyler, a little girl with Bilateral Perisylvian Polymicrogyria, a rare neurological condition that left her unable to speak. He’s also the author of Schuyler’s Monster: A Father’s Journey with his Wordless Daughter, published by St. Martin’s Press in 2008 which I have not read. He also blogs at Fighting Monster with Rubber Swords.
A Big Good Thing
Learning about Rummel-Hudson’s background began to change my initial opinion. A careful rereading the entire post, especially the following passage, transformed any remaining dislike into appreciation, empathy, and understanding:
So we celebrate the child we have, and we do so without reservation, without an asterisk or a qualification. But we don’t let ourselves buy into a pretty lie, one which suggests that gentle words or peppy cheerleading or the niceness of a figurative Holland will protect our children if the Big Bad decides to visit. And yet. We stand, and we love, and we fight when we can… As parents of kids with possibly life-threatening disorders, we live with the threat of the Big Bad hovering over everything we do. But there’s a payoff, a Big Good that runs through our hearts and our relationships with our children like an unbreakable golden thread.
A Big Good.
An unbreakable golden thread.
His words captured life as the parent of a child with special needs exactly.
And I wondered what it’s like for a wordsmith to parent a wordless child.
Up for a Good Read
If you’re up for a good read, check out Rummel-Hudson’s entire post at www.supportforspecialneeds.com. Then come back and share your thoughts in the comment box if you like. While you do that, I’m going to our library’s online catalog to reserve Schuyler’s Monster. I’m up for a good read, too, and this book might be it.
Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.
By Jolene
Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.
12 Comments
Submit a Comment
Meet Jolene
EZ Socks
Subscribe for Updates from Jolene
Related Posts
We’re Proud of our Kids with Special Needs!
Guest blogger Steve Harris takes a time out to remind us how true it is that we’re proud of our kids with special needs.
A Song for Encouragement
Musician Steve Siler presents his song, “Whole in the Sight of God,” a song for encouragement of families impacted by disability.
When Pets, Bracelets, and Autism Come Together
Guest blogger Heather Braucher explains the magic that happens when pets, bracelets, and autism come together.
Hi Janette,
Thank you for sharing your views on Robert’s book. My “must read” pile is getting taller by the moment, but a special needs memoir that can make a person laugh and cry deserves a place in it. Best wishes on your special needs journey.
Jolene
Hi Janette,
Thank you for sharing your views on Robert’s book. My “must read” pile is getting taller by the moment, but a special needs memoir that can make a person laugh and cry deserves a place in it. Best wishes on your special needs journey.
Jolene
Hi Julia,
Thank you for your comment and the link to your post about how you feel about Holland. Readers, if you haven’t visited Julia’s site, http://www.supportforspecialneeds.com, you’ll want to visit. It is packed with wonderful resources.
Jolene
Hi Julia,
Thank you for your comment and the link to your post about how you feel about Holland. Readers, if you haven’t visited Julia’s site, http://www.supportforspecialneeds.com, you’ll want to visit. It is packed with wonderful resources.
Jolene
Tell us more, Stephanine.
Tell us more, Stephanine.
Most things about parenting are personnel. Let’s face it – a person’s perspective is always going to be
that way. What I love about Mr. Rummel Hudsen book is his blatant honesty. He is not afraid to get
messy or be PC. He is just sharing his perspective. I’m the parent of a kid with disabilities, and I loved his book. It had me crying and giggling at the same time. He is a parent in the trenches fighting the fight we all are. He is fighting for her worth in a society that pushes people with disabilities aside, hampers their voices and limits their futures.
Definitely put his book in your must read pile.
Most things about parenting are personnel. Let’s face it – a person’s perspective is always going to be
that way. What I love about Mr. Rummel Hudsen book is his blatant honesty. He is not afraid to get
messy or be PC. He is just sharing his perspective. I’m the parent of a kid with disabilities, and I loved his book. It had me crying and giggling at the same time. He is a parent in the trenches fighting the fight we all are. He is fighting for her worth in a society that pushes people with disabilities aside, hampers their voices and limits their futures.
Definitely put his book in your must read pile.
He’s a gifted writer, that is for sure. It’s why I wanted him to post every week at the site. He and I have talked a lot about Holland and our view are pretty similar. But I defend everyone’s right to go to Holland, even it it’s not my cup of tulip.
I wrote about that very thing here. http://supportforspecialneeds.com/2011/11/02/my-trip-to-holland-was-short/
He’s a gifted writer, that is for sure. It’s why I wanted him to post every week at the site. He and I have talked a lot about Holland and our view are pretty similar. But I defend everyone’s right to go to Holland, even it it’s not my cup of tulip.
I wrote about that very thing here. http://supportforspecialneeds.com/2011/11/02/my-trip-to-holland-was-short/
There is also a beautiful, “Once you have been in Holland a decade “thing”. . .when the time is right.
There is also a beautiful, “Once you have been in Holland a decade “thing”. . .when the time is right.