8 Strategies for Special Needs Stress Relief

by Apr 13, 2011Self-Care and Stress, Special Needs Parenting5 comments

Stress & grief are too often companions of parents raising kids with special needs. These 8 strategies to reduce special needs stress can make a difference.

Stress and grief are the unwanted but constant companions of parents raising kids with special needs. In this post, Laurie Wallin shares eight strategies for special needs stress relief when she feels overwhelmed. The parent of four daughters, two with special needs, she knows what she’s talking about!

7 Strategies for Special Needs Stress Relief

She lost her fight with brain cancer a few weeks ago. The aunt I knew better than all my others. The one whose home meant Thanksgiving and Christmas to me. Whose wisdom got me through my first year of teaching. And whose spunk and no-nonsense attitude helped me feel okay, even if I wasn’t.

Missing her would be hard enough on its own without having to push and shove life out of the way to make space for this grief. That kind of mental space is hard to come by. Especially for parents juggling their child’s intense needs and care. But we all need mental clarity to cope well with life—to handle ups and downs, process change, and make good decisions.

Last month in Newsweek, Sharon Begley reported Temple University’s finding that the thinking, deciding part of our brains actually shuts off when we take in too much information at once and try to act on it all. We need to have some mental space. Here are some ways to do that in our information-overloaded, high-intensity world, so we can cope better when life happens.

Special Needs Stress Relief Strategy 1: Empty Your Brain

You can only interact with about 7 ideas at once—the rest go by the wayside. Unless you have a regular place to unload your thoughts. So jot them down on Macbook Stickies, a text file, notes on your smart phone, Evernote, or plain-old pen and paper. Programs like Evernote allow tagging of each note you write so you can find it again when you want it. And voice-to-text apps allow you to do this on the go.

Special Needs Stress Relief Strategy 2: Be Quiet

Find a place to sit still and do nothing. It doesn’t have to be long—10 minutes can do the trick. Just give yourself the regular gift of time to sit with life unplugged and preferably no lights or sounds… and listen to the quiet. I do this in my car because it’s really, really quiet there when it’s parked!

Special Needs Stress Relief Strategy 3: Doodle

Begley’s article reminds us that our subconscious mind is where the creativity resides. Creativity doesn’t wear us out like over-thinking things does. Doodling gives our conscious mind something to do while our subconscious casually works through things we’re thinking about.

Special Needs Stress Relief Strategy 4: Pause Before Deciding

Information and scheduling overload creates mental paralysis. Begley described it this way: “The science of decision making has shown that more information can lead to objectively poorer choices, and to choices that people come to regret.” So plan time throughout the decision-making process to shut off all input and give your mind space to mull it over in its own creative way.

Special Needs Stress Relief Strategy 5: Get Enough Rest

A tired brain is a brain that wastes the space it has just trying to stay awake. A little extra sleep at night or a short nap during the day will get what you’re doing done better and more efficiently. This is especially important when we’re processing tough things like grief and loss.

Special Needs Stress Relief Strategy 6: Exercise

Exercise releases endorphins that improve mood and relieve stress so you can think better. It makes the brain more efficient so you can do more with the mental space you’ve already got. So go for a walk or take the stairs at work periodically to give your mind a boost and help you cope better with life’s challenges.

Special Needs Stress Relief Strategy 7: Listen to Music

A recent study revealed that when you listen to songs you like, it elevates mood and helps everything seem more optimistic and positive. It also serves to distract your conscious brain and allow your powerful subconscious to get in on the mental action, giving you a sense of mental space again.

Special Needs Stress Relief Strategy 8: Pray

All the best-intended strategies in the world will fail us if we go at it with our understanding alone. God can do “exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or think,” so trust Him to keep His word and talk with Him about what’s on your mind.

What About You?

What helps you to have more mental space to process life? Share your ideas in the comment box below. 

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By Laurie Wallin

Laurie is the mom of four daughters, two adopted with developmental delays, mood disorders, and ADHD. A former junior high teacher turned speaker and life coach, she loves to learn, laugh until their sides hurt, and help women be courageous in life.

5 Comments

  1. Wendy Patrice Williams

    Thanks for validating one’s need to push life’s stuff out of the way in order to make time to process grief or whatever emotions are coming down the pike. Great suggestions for retaining and maintaining balance and peace.

  2. Jolene

    Hi Nancy,

    Thanks for your comment. I’m amazed at how productive you are with 6 children, 2 of whom have special needs. Keep taking those deep breaths and let us know what you think of the book once you have time to read it.

    Jolene

  3. Nancy Woleslagle

    I can definitely relate to feeling overwhelmed at times. I keep a running list of things to do and often have two because it is overwhelming to see everything at once! I am glad to know that are brain really does shut down when overloaded. I have wondered with all the worries in my life recently. I think praying, taking time for a deep breath, and realizing we can’t do everything at once all the time, in the order, keeps me working on my list.
    I recently purchased a good book called Logistics for Large Families by Kim Brenneman. It helps you set things up so they can be easily kept going after choas reigns for a while. Also includes a realistic study on the Proverbs 31 woman. I haven’t had the time to do anything, but skim it! LOL!

  4. Jolene

    Hang in there, Christine. And thanks, Laurie, for being such an encourager.

    Jolene

  5. Christine

    Wow, here I am with my dried tears and mounting frustration at this very moment. Both phone’s ringing with multiple doc’s calling then call waiting telling me another’s on the other line. I set them down and stare off into space and Pray. Then 30 sec’s later this post appears. Hmmm…think its more than a coincidence,fate or faith? I’m leaning toward faith.:) Thank you Laurie for writing this when my heart needed to hear these words!

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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