Yesterday, guest blogger Nancy Flanders talked about two issues parents of kids with special needs should consider when thinking about expanding their families – level of support and finances. Today, she shares four more issues to help parents wondering about having more children gain clarity about their family’s future.
On Having More Children, Part 2
#3 – How’s Your Faith?
How is your faith? Seriously, faith matters. For those with faith, special needs aren’t a curse, but part of a plan. God doesn’t wish for us, especially children, to suffer. It breaks His heart too. But He finds use for our suffering, as in John 9 when the disciples ask Jesus why the man was born blind. Jesus answers, “this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” We know that we as parents aren’t choosing to have a child with a special need. We are choosing to have a child. This is a gift, no matter what the future holds. We must have faith in order to survive. And your level of faith will make a difference in whether or not you could handle having another child with a special need.
#4 – How Does Your Spouse Feel?
How does your spouse feel? This is obviously important and should not be overlooked. Planning another baby on purpose when your spouse isn’t ready or is uncertain is a bad idea. You should talk to each other and listen to each other openly and honestly before making the decision.
#5 – Are You Afraid?
Are you afraid? We are all anxious at times when wondering how our decisions will affect the rest of our lives and the lives of others. But you shouldn’t let fear be the reason you make a decision. Logic and reason, trust and love should play a part. Fear should never win.
#6 – What About Adoption?
What about adoption? You don’t just have to add to your family biologically. There are thousands of children waiting for a home, and more are born every day. But this is just as big a step as having a baby and all of the above considerations must be taken into account.
Only Time Will Tell
There are plenty of other considerations when deciding if you should have another child who might have a special health need including your living arrangements and your ability to give attention to each child. But for each setback, there is a solution. You just need to be willing to find it. It all comes down to what is best for you and your family. As for mine, only time will tell.
What Would You Add to the List?
What do you think of Nancy’s list of things to consider about having more children? Does one of the items speak to you? Do you have more considerations to add to the list? Leave a comment to share your wisdom. Nancy and I would love to hear from you.
Nancy Flanders is a wife and mother of two girls, one with cystic fibrosis. After her daughter’s diagnosis at just 6 days old, she altered her career path to focus on writing about raising a child with a special health need. She spends any free moment she can find fundraising for a cure for her daughter and volunteering for her hospital’s cystic fibrosis advisory group. Visit Nancy at www.chronicadmissions.blogspot.com and www.parentingsquad.com.
Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.