Join the Different Dream gang as we welcome new guest blogger, Stephanie McKeever today. She confesses she is often worried and more than worried about IEP meetings as a special needs mom. What she has to say may sound familiar to you, too.
More Than Worried
Have you ever let your mind wander and let worry take over your thoughts, your days, nights, your attitude?
The number of times I have given something to God and then taken it back again, honestly, it’s ridiculous. The amount of worry–and more than worry–I allow things to have over my mind is, well, mind-boggling. I am nothing if not consistent. I can be a bit impatient when it comes to God’s time versus my time when handling life. And I have been proven wrong time and again.
I had an IEP for my child, recently. Yes, I am still hammering away at IEPs. If you follow me at A Life Not Normal, then you know I’ve had some major life changes lately. However, freedom from IEP meetings were not one of those changes. The meeting had me worried.
Is there a word for more than worried?
The more than worried that kept me talking to myself in the car, into the bathroom silence (the only room where there is mom-silence), and stewing in the night. I had already had one pre-meeting, and I did not handle it all that well. So this time, I needed to step up my IEP game. But what if the IEP team came with the same offerings that had already kept me awake at 2 in the morning? What if they wore at the same soft spots that had me so rattled at the last meeting?
I am not proud of letting this more than worried conversation with God go on until I pulled out of my driveway to go the meeting.
“Stephanie, why don’t you hush at this meeting and let God do what God does? Or maybe admit God has been doing His thing all along?”
Remember, I am consistent when it comes to my hardheadedness. But fast forward and what do you think happened?
Yep. God showed up when I shut up.
I am not saying God changed every single IEP meeting exactly the way I prayed it into action right before each meeting. But this particular meeting a reminder that God has shown up every single time over time. Occasionally, it takes more time than my limited time table for His work to be done. God has His own time table, and His timing is always best.
Sometimes His time is now.
Other time, I have to watch and see what God’s gonna do.
He never fails us.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
My husband and I are parents of all boys, one of whom was a young adult with both physical and intellectual disabilities. I don’t always know what I’m doing as I parent these guys. But what I do know is God is teaching me big things through our trials that I probably would have never learned without them. You can find more from me at www.alifenotnormal.com, on Facebook, and on Twitter @stefmckeever.
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