To My Son Before They Label You with Autism

by Oct 31, 2018Advocacy, Special Needs Parenting3 comments

Before they label you with autism, my son, here is what I want you to know about who you really are. Beautiful words from Amy Felix we all need to hear.

Before they label you with autism. No parent wants to pen a letter to a child before that happens. But this post is an example for parents of what to say and how to say it. Thank you, guest blogger Amy Felix, for saying what many parents need to hear.

My Son,

The doctors tell me that you have autism. That, though you’re not quite old enough for them to make an official diagnosis, all of the signs are there. Soon, the world will label you. Many will see you through the lens of disability. Life will change. Before it does, I wanted to write to you. To tell you what I see in you. To tell you what will remain the same…

You’re strong, brilliant, and hand-crafted in the image of God. Look no further than His Word for the truth of who you are. No label can define you. Never let anyone convince you you’re anything less than priceless.

I love you fiercely. Nothing can separate you from my love. Nothing. No words can express the depth of it. No label, diagnosis, or struggle could ever change it. My love for you is endless.

We are a team. Your battles are my battles. When you hurt, I hurt. When you struggle, I struggle. I will fight for what’s best for you, fight for all that you deserve, until the day I die. I will push you to reach your goals and I will lead you in running this race with endurance. You may encounter many hardships, but you’ll never face them alone.

God’s purpose and plan for your life is bigger than you could ever imagine. Never let the world drag you down. Don’t lose sight of your mission.

You are worthy of respect. People may not always give it to you; sometimes you’ll need to work hard to earn it. You need to be respectful. God created that person who’s tearing you down; because He loves them, you are called to as well. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you deserve, but choose your words carefully.

I’m proud of you. Not just because I’m your mother, but because I see your determination to achieve…because when you fall, as we all do, you always get back up and try again.

I believe in you. Always will. I’ll be here to guide you in truth and compassion as you reach for your dreams and beyond. Never underestimate yourself. Through Christ, you can do all things. Even when you find yourself feeling lost, remember that God can use any situation for good.

You are a gift. I have never, not for a single moment, wanted a different child. I’ve never wanted to change you. I never will. You are exactly who you are meant to be and who you are is amazing. I am privileged and honored to be your mama.

Lastly, if I could give you anything, I’d give you the passion to live out 1 Corinthians 16:13-14. Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love.

By Your Side,
Mom

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By Amy Felix

My name is Amy Felix. I’ve been married for 10 years to a guy who’s totally out of my league. I’m a homeschooling mom to 4 kids, ranging in age from 9 to 2 years. That’s really enough work on it’s own but, because I love it, I’m a photographer as well. And, in my spare time, I write. My faith is the driving force behind my special needs blog: Appointed To Hope. I’m a firm believer in being real, transparent, and using the gifts of this journey as a way to relate to others in their joy as well as their sorrow. To read more about my adventures in special needs parenting, visit my website at www.appointedtohope.com.

3 Comments

  1. Jolene

    Cindy, your son sounds like a wonderful young man who is doing important and worthy work. Romans 8:37-39 are good verses for him!

  2. Cindy Bledsoe

    Thank you for this heart touching letter, Your points about your son worth respect and that you were on his team and that you were proud of him and believed in him, were wonderful to remember.
    My son is 33 and has been through many trials and testings over the years. He wasn’t diagnosed with Aspergers until he was 9 years old. He had other labels such as ADHD and Anxiety disorder. We had in social skills groups, etc. to help him. He was blessed with a special group of two other boys who seem to bond from 7th grade until 12th grade. They were the three amigos and did fun outings together and just the hanging out guys do together. Sadly this ended with his graduation and the others dropping him for other interests. This had been his experience throughout school and lead to him giving up trying to make friends in college. He went part time to college and worked part time as an Animal Nanny. I have often seen this as a blessing to him because animals love him and he loves them in return. It also lead him to make this his full time job after he finished college in part he found finding jobs in his major very difficult and because the job was meeting the need for being accepted as he is.
    He is a believer and because he had a mom very involved with Moms in Prayer learned how to pray and rely on praying to the Lord through many difficult time,
    I loved your verse. I also cling to Romans 8:37-39 especially “we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us”. I have often reminded my son of this as he lives out his life as a man with autism and his facing life’s challenges.

  3. Sandy

    You are AMAZING Amy!!!Our Grandson has lived with us since he was3. He was diagnosed wit Apergers just out of 6th grade. We have fought through many challenges, mostly school. We initiated a peer to peer support group and it worked for the most part. He still never got invited to birthday parties, or had friends that called or came over, but with that program, he had someone to eat lunch with and have his back when others, even a teacher bullied him. He graduated and is 24 now. Still with us and getting services for independent living skills when that time comes. I felt every word in your letter on a very personal level, and in my heart. Thank you, I admire you!! Sandy

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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