4 Ways Special Needs Parenting Changed Me (For the Better)

by Feb 25, 2015Encouragement, Spiritual Support5 comments

Special needs parenting is not only challenging, it's life-changing. Guest blogger Sheri Dacon describes 4 ways special needs parenting has changed her.

Different Dream is welcoming Sheri Dacon, a new guest blogger, into its ranks today. Read on to find out how special needs parenting has changed her for the better.

How Special Needs Parenting Changed Me

Being the parent of a special needs child is hard. It causes stress, anxiety, and often depression. There is a level of chronic grief as well, as you mourn the loss of a particular dream and embrace a different life than you imagined.

I’ve experienced all of it.

But I’ve also experienced tremendous joy — joy I wouldn’t know if it weren’t for my son who has autism.

My child has changed me. Were I to list all the ways, there wouldn’t be enough space on the internet. But here are a few:

Four Ways Special Needs Parenting Changed Me (For the Better)

 

1. Sympathy and compassion

Before I had a child with autism, I was judgmental and smug. I assumed poorly behaved children were the result of bad parenting. I was determined never to allow disobedience or disrespect in my home.

I was the perfect mother before I had kids.

Boy was I in for a shock.

Autism opened my eyes to a whole new world. I learned that no matter how good your parenting skills, controlling your child’s every decision — especially when they are wired differently and have major sensory issues — is a pipe dream. No matter your method of discipline, there will be behavior issues.

In an air of superiority, I had lumped all the parents of poorly behaved kids together in the “bad parent” category. Now that I was struggling with behavior issues in my own home, I realized how wrong I had been. I learned to be sympathetic and compassionate rather than judgmental.

2. People are not their masks

Most of us spend our lives wearing masks. We’ve learned how to hide our emotions, our imperfections, our true selves, beneath protective masks of our own making. But people with disability don’t have the same privilege. Their imperfections are on display for all to see.

The Bible says that people look at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart. Disability gives special needs parents a glimpse of the way God sees. We learn to look past physical differences and truly appreciate the person within — first with our own child, and then with others.

3. Happiness and gratitude in small things

Special needs parents don’t take for granted the smiles and hugs and “I love yous” of every day. Those seemingly small things become colossal. We are always on the lookout for the precious, tender moments, the tiny victories. We are primed to be ever mindful, to notice. And when the moments come, they take our breath away. Being a special needs parent takes gratitude to a whole new level.

4. Dependence on God

No matter how independent we profess to be, a diagnosis of special needs makes us realize how little control we actually have. Autism really messed up my plans for a “perfect” life. But I can say without hesitation that I am thankful. It took something I really couldn’t handle on my own for me to finally release the reins and let God take control. How I desperately needed to let go and give my circumstances and my life to the One who could handle it!

This journey of special needs is not an easy one. There are ups and downs and plenty of struggle. But I am thankful.

Being a special needs parent has changed me for the better.

How has your journey with special needs changed you?

How Has Special Needs Parenting Changed You?

Now that you’ve gotten to know Sheri a little better, the Different Dream crew would like to get to know you better, too. So how has special needs parenting changed you? Leave your comments below.

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By Sheri Dacon

To connect with Sheri, visit her blog at www.sheridacon.com, or find her on Twitter, Facebook or Pinterest.

5 Comments

  1. Jolene

    Isn’t that the truth, Kaylene! God uses parenting to make us much more humble and compassionate.

  2. Kaylene

    I have felt all of these things. It’s funny how differently you view a kid having a melt down in the grocery store after you have a child with special needs!

  3. Jolene

    Wow-you’re family has an amazing witness, and from the sounds of things, you are using it to reach out to others. Dave, I sent an email with a couple questions about your request.

  4. dave morsch

    Hi, My wife and I have a son named Adam. He is now 36 years old and is affected by bipolar and Asperger’s Syndrome. In our early years we were so lost. Fighting with school, doctors, and family was a normal part of our life. My son developed many strange problems and our anxieties were off the chart. My wife was doing every practical thing to help. But it wasn’t working. One day I walked out onto the patio and told God that I wasn’t sure he was real, but if he was,please help us, cause were sinking fast. Shortly after that my aunt took Adam to her church and he gave his 10-year-old life to Jesus Christ. He began going to their Christian church and we started observing a real mental, emotional and spiritual change. Fast forward: God broke my heart back then. Today he’s blessed me to direct a special needs ministry “Friendship Unlimited,” to, for, and by the abled-disabled at Island Christian Church in East Northport, NY for 20 years now. We minister to adults and children with a myriad of special needs. My son still lives with us and lives a struggling life,but we keep pointing him to God and help him to set goals, and we love him dearly. Moms are usually the ones, I agree, but right now I’m helping another dad start a special needs ministry in their church. I’m blessed to have found your site. Tonight we’re going to a group home. They come to our Sunday school, and we will teach them about quiet times using some of your ideas.

  5. Kimberly Miller

    Having a special needs child has changed me in so many ways. One of the best ways is looking outside the box. My child will not go to school and we tried but it does not work. It has taught me to homeschool him in the way that he sees that he can learn. I would’ve never chosen this on my own. Being a teacher before I having kids of my own I thought that when I had kids that it would be pretty easy. I have had to learn a whole new way of parenting, a hold new way of teaching and patience that I never thought I could have. I am still in the process of learning to give it wholy to God every day. I wake up feeling overwhelmed most days but know I have to trust and believe in a God that I profess!

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Meet Jolene

Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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