Special Needs Holiday Lesson 3: Boundaries

by Nov 27, 2013Holidays, Special Needs Parenting0 comments

How can a special needs holiday be holidays meaningful & enjoyable? Guest blogger Rebekah Benimoff suggests setting boundaries.

Guest blogger Rebekah Benimoff is back with the final installment about what families of kids with special needs can do to make the holiday season enjoyable and meaningful. In today’s post, Rebekah describes how she sets boundaries to meet the needs of her family and honor their faith.

Special Needs Holiday Lesson 3: Boundaries

While many people are running from event to event this time of year, due to the crowds, we don’t. This has multi-level perks. First, my husband, who has PTSD, my younger son, who has SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), and even my older son, who has type one diabetes and digestive issues are each (much) less anxious. Tyler’s blood glucose levels are even more stable, due to lower stress and fewer food differences when we simply do less.

Second, it brings opportunities for us to bond as a family unit. While everyone else is chatting with long lost Great Uncle Charlie, I am getting to know how my sons are changing as they grow up. There is an intimacy that develops when we opt out of larger gatherings. And I’ve found that I need quiet times as well, if I am going to ever find Peace On Earth.

There are still family expectations, and we do travel to see my husband’s family and mine. But I have stopped trying to please an entire community of people by sacrificing the well being of those I am called to care for.  We place boundaries that allow us to meet each of our needs, including my own.

When we do choose to attend a gathering, I plan options to get away if needed, I bring alternative food choices with us, and I work to maintain boundaries that we have carefully set up over the years. It’s not perfect, and it may not make everyone happy, but when I release the need to please and focus on caring for those God has entrusted to me, I can actually enjoy the holidays—and even our many differences.

How do you set appropriate boundaries for your family during the holiday season? Leave a comment.

Special Needs Holiday Lesson: Part 1
Special Needs Holiday Lesson: Part 2

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By Rebekah Benimoff

Rebekah Benimoff is the wife of a husband with PTSD and the mother of two young men, both of whom grew up with medical and special needs. She blogs at In the Chaos…. and In the Calm (justmemama.blogspot.com).

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Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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