After a recent interview with a parent, part of the research for the work in progress, Different Dream Parenting: Raising a Child with Special Needs, I was speechless. The wisdom of the young mom who granted the interview blew me away.

Parenting for Life

The mom and her husband, only 25 during their son’s brief life, packed more parenting into his two weeks on earth than most of us accomplish in two years. In fact, their parenting began months earlier when an ultrasound revealed significant abnormalities not compatible with life. Still, this dad and mom chose to “parent for life” and continued the pregnancy. They also parented by undergoing tests to determine the cause of the condition. Because it was not genetically based, they may have more children some day. But if the opposite had been true, they were prepared to chose differently.

Parenting in NICU

After their son was born, the extent and nature of his physical anomalies were discovered. His condition couldn’t be corrected by physicians. His brain function couldn’t sustain life. Knowing their son’s life would be brief, they made it as rich as possible. They were with him each day in NICU, talking to their baby and touching him. “We did as much of his care as the NICU nurses could allow.” Their pastor came and performed a baby dedication which was followed by a celebration. They took pictures, lots of pictures, over 800 pictures. They made tiny plaster casts of his footprints and hand prints, and they stored locks of his hair in a little memory box.

What to Read in NICU

“And,” this young mom said, “we read the book of John to him. Out loud. In the NICU. We know he couldn’t understand it, but it helped us. It was something we could do for him, a way to care for him spiritually.” She began to cry.

So did I, humbled to be in the presence of a woman so young, yet so wise. Grateful for the dad and mom God gave this little boy. Grateful for the wonder of his short life. Amazed by the blessing he will be to other parents. In possession of an answer for families who ask how to parent a baby whose life will be short.

“Read aloud to your baby,” I will say from now on. “Start with the book of John.”

Amen.

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