“Suffering is not what I wanted for my child,” says guest blogger Angela Parsley, who has been dealing with pain since she was young. Yet, her daughter is dealing with similar pain issues with no relief is in sight. Angela shares how she stays strong as she and her daughter suffer together.
From an early age I suffered from migraine headaches and neurological issues. The headaches and other issues became worse over time, and suffering is not what I wanted for my child. Though it’s been a long journey over a few decades, I’ve been strengthened by these trials. Of course there were ups and downs in the process but mainly I trusted God’s plan.
Fast forward to my daughter. Her head is aching and after many attempts at medication, relaxation, doctor’s visits and tests the pain won’t relent. Being on the caregiver side of pain has shaken me to the core.
When I experienced pain in my own body, I learned endurance. But watching someone suffer similarly is hard to endure. I find myself wrestling with God. I don’t want my daughter to experience pain. She’s so young and I fear for her future. I want to be able to take the pain away, but it is beyond my power. It has dismantled me.
God reminds me of the Bible story of Jacob wrestling with God, something He used it to change Jacob into a new person. Jacob refused to let go of the wrestling until God blessed him. The blessing came with a life changing limp. Yet it also came with a new name and a new deeper faith.
That’s what trials do. When we get past the stage of being undone, they are opportunities to stretch our faith and trust in the only One who can truly help in our time of need.
I didn’t have the strength to endure this trial apart from God. He was the strength of my heart when I turned to Him in my pain. He helps me to see and persevere. The role of caregiver is an area where I need to grow, to grieve this new normal, and then to depend on Him to get us through it whatever the outcome.
Suffering is not what I wanted for my child. But God has His plans for my daughter. I know they are for our greater good. I know by faith in His good work on our behalf and for His glory will turn out the way He means it to be.
In suffering I can relate more deeply to the Father who did not spare His Son because of His love for us. What greater love is there? He is a good Father in good and bad, He will never leave us or forsake us. We may not understand why certain trials happen but we can trust God is with us in them. They are producing faith that is more precious than gold. While living His truth, we can endure all things as we keep our eyes fixed on Him.
Angela Parsley is a certified biblical counselor. She lives in Chattanooga, Tennessee with her husband Tony and their three children. She writes and reviews books at her blog, Refresh My Soul. You can follow her on Twitter.
Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.