How to Talk to Kids About Their Hidden Disabilities

by Mar 21, 2013How-Tos, Special Needs Parenting2 comments

Invisible special needs. Hidden disabilities. At some point, parents of kids with special needs not immediately visible to others, should talk to their kids.

Invisible special needs. Hidden disabilities. Call them what you will, but at some point, parents of kids with special needs not immediately visible to others, should talk to their children. Mary Mazzoni addresses the issue at her blog, Life After IEPs.

Talking with Kids about Hidden Disabilities

Mazzoni asks some thought-provoking questions early in the article: “Do we try to ‘shield’ our kids from the words that describe their struggle with reading, or their difficulty with behavioral self regulation, or their challenges interacting with others? When and how do we talk to our kids about their disability when it is not physically apparent?”

Provide Context

First of all, Mazzoni says we should provide context by helping kids:

  • identify their specific strengths and challenges
  • develop strategies to accommodate their challenges
  • discover their passions and goals
  • understand that they can attain their goals despite their challenges

More Hidden Disabilities Tips

Mazzoni offers these tips near the end of the article:

  • When explaining the label, avoid passing on negative or positive emotions since kids pick up on spoken and unspoken signals. Mazzoni reassures parents by saying, “Often, among those feelings was a sense of relief—knowing that the challenges they face have a name—that they could learn more about the disability—and that there are others who face similar challenges.”
  • Watch the videos created by Dr. Stephen Shore. Shore lives with Asperger’s Syndrome and has helped hundreds of youth, families, and adults on their journey with autism.

What Do You Think?

What do you think of Mazzoni’s advice and the resources she recommends? Have you thought about how you’ll approach a special needs discussion with your child when the time comes? Or have you already had that conversation? How did it go? Leave a comment to share your wisdom with the rest of us!

photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net

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By Jolene

Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Sing!, the second book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in November of 2022.

2 Comments

  1. Jolene

    Tonya,

    Thanks for the tip. That would work in many situations.

    Jolene

  2. Tonya

    I read a book to my son about a child with Asperger’s, and then we talked about how some things in my son’s own life were similar to the boy in the book. He is very proud of the strengths he has that are related to his condition, and wants people to be understanding of the struggles he faces.

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Meet Jolene

Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.

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