The problem of pain has been a sticking point for brilliant theologians like C. S. Lewis and for ordinary parents of kids with medical special needs for a long, long time. Today, one of those ordinary parents, Kimberly Rae, shares what she learned about the problem of pain when her child faced a medical procedure.

The Problem of Pain and Children with Special Needs:
Where Is God When We Hurt?

My two-year-old little boy was having unexplained health problems. They were mostly digestive, and as we were missionaries overseas, my husband and I were concerned about parasites. When we returned to America, we took our young son to several doctors. One specialist ordered blood tests, meaning my toddler would have to have his blood drawn—not just the finger-poking kind, but the real, needle-in-the-vein kind of blood tests.

I cannot tell you how I dreaded that experience. When the day came, my stomach was in knots. My son went to the doctor’s office as cheerfully as usual, unaware of what was coming. When I sat him on my lap in the black laboratory chair and held him to me as a nurse plunged that needle deep into his arm, everything changed. His face contorted. He began to cry, to try to get away from the pain, to wail out his confusion at this unexpected injustice.

My heart cried with him every moment until they got all the blood needed for the required tests. I hurt for his physical pain, but even more for the emotional pain he suffered. He, who was sitting in the lap of the one who had kissed his scraped knees and imagined hurts, was now being held down by that same person, forced to suffer pain.

How could this be? Had I stopped loving him? Did I want to have him go through this terrible thing? Had I forsaken him?

Any adult knows the agony of having to take a child through a painful situation rather than enabling them to sidestep it. As much as it hurt me to see my son being hurt, I knew I had to allow him to go through this so we could help him. It was for his ultimate good, but he could not see that during the time of pain. All he knew was that his mother was not fixing the problem; her arms were the ones holding him there.

I could not take away the pain, but I did stay with him. As much as I hated to see what he was going through, I had to suffer it with him. He is mine. I love him. When he hurts, I hurt.

Within that circumstance, I saw a glimpse of my God.

When we go through difficult trials, painful circumstances, one of the first things we question is God’s love for us. How could God let this happen? Why doesn’t He fix it?

If God really loved us, surely He would take away this problem, wouldn’t He?

We live in a world of pain, and God does not keep all that pain from ever touching us. When the difficult times come, however, you can know and share this:

1. God is there and He loves you so much. He is with you even when you’re hurting (Psalm 46:1).
2. God has a purpose in this time, even if you can’t see what it is right now (Jer. 29:11).

I cannot imagine turning my back on my son if he were in any kind of pain. How much more so will God, who is a much better parent, never turn away from us when we suffer!

Instead, He says, “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).
The God of the universe loves you. He sees; He knows; He cares.
You are not alone.

What Do You Think about the Problem of Pain?

If you like, please leave a comment about what you’ve learned about the problem of pain while parenting your child with special needs.

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