In Wednesday’s post, guest blogger Scott Newport described a vacation trip to the swimming pool with his sons. At the pool, his son Evan became friends with a little girl named Renee. Evan was unable to communicate verbally because of Noonan’s Syndrome, but used sign language. Renee, a child with Down Syndrome, communicates both verbally and with sign language. They were perfectly at ease with one another, but as Scott shares in this part of the story, some of the onlookers were not quite so comfortable.

Broken Down Signs

When we left the pool that day, we’d made a new friend. As I started to push Evan’s stroller toward the exit, Renee ran up to me, tapped me on the back, and gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. No words were spoken as we embraced but the message was mutually clear. I turned away with a smile that matched the one on her father’s face. He didn’t wave as we left, he just nodded his head. I knew what he meant.

People Don’t Understand Sign Language

There’d been many a head turned that day around the pool…not toward us but away from us. And I don’t know how many times I overheard kids asking their parents, “What’s wrong with them?” I guess people don’t understand sign language. Or maybe they just don’t like to look at people that seem to be broken.

As Noah, Evan, and I walked home from the pool, we ran into a woman we hadn’t seen in a year or two. Noticing our “language” of hand signals and obnoxious grunts, she squinted her face and asked, “Does he even understand what you are saying?”

“Yes,” I replied, just slightly offended.

I wanted to say, “I know he doesn’t speak…and I know he can only sign one or two words…and I know those signs aren’t done perfectly…but he does like to listen to singing…and he does like to go to the pool!” Hmmmppphhh.

What Comes Out of Peoples’ Mouths

Back at home, Evan and I sat on the front porch, swinging in the creaking wooden porch swing. We let the warm lake breeze put our souls to rest. As we rocked together, I wondered about speech and about how we communicate our wants and needs and about how sometimes things just seem to come out of our mouths.

And I thought about some of the things that have come out of peoples’ mouths upon meeting Evan for the first time:

“How do you know what he’s saying?”
“Does he love you?”
“Does he like to play?”
“How do you know if he’s crying?”
“Does he even know he’s sick?”
“Is he broken?”

Does Evan Speak?

For each question asked, I could write so many heartwarming stories about Evan that the book would never end. Which begs the question: Does Evan speak? Yea, I think so. Just think for a moment: When a wife looks at a husband, puts one hand on her hip, taps one foot and slightly cocks her head, what does it mean? Ahhh, any guy knows! She’s mad about another dumb thing he’s done. You see, all communication is not verbal.

Renee and Evan, they speak a language made up of imperfect and incomplete signing, verbalizations that are unintelligible to most people, facial expressions, and body language. Very few actual words, if any, are required. I guess Renee’s dad and I have the gift of being able to look past the broken signs to the heart of the message. Along the way, I’ve met a number of people—mostly parents of kids with special needs—who have this same gift.

One More Sign

I’ll end this story by telling you about one more sign. There’s a church in my hometown with a roadside sign that says: “Sign broken, message inside.” I think that says it all.

Scott (Evans dad)

Read More of Scott’s Stories

Leave a comment about how your child with special needs communicates. Or leave a comment for Scott. To read more of his posts, type “Scott Newport” in the search box.

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