Tara’s a little girl who spent months in the hospital after a very unusual birth. During those difficult months Tara’s mom, Kathie, learned several lesson, and one of them cemented her faith: God doesn’t waste a hurt.

God Doesn’t Waste a Hurt

Meet Tara

Tara’s story is amazing. If you want to know the whole story, go to www.carepages.com and type in “taracarlson.” For now, here are the highlights:

• Tara, the Carlson’s fourth child, came so quickly she was born in the hospital bathroom. Kat’s husband was trying to help her collect a urine sample and caught a baby instead.
• The baby was healthy, but a week after birth wasn’t eating well. Kat made an appointment with the lactation clinic. After  checking Tara’s vitals, she picked up the baby, ran out of the room and told the receptionist to tell the ER a blue baby would soon arrive. She ran across the street and into the ER. A team of doctors met her and within 15 minutes, Tara was bagged. Within 20 minutes, they knew she had spinal meningitis.
• Tara spent the next three months in the hospital PICU with multiple viral infections. At one point, seven of her organs were failing. She was septic. She had to go through dialysis.
• No one expected Tara to live, but she did. She’s now 2 1/2 years old and lives at home. She wears a heart monitor at night because of her congestive heart failure. She does quite well, but has to rest more than other children her age. And the smallest cold or infection results in another hospital stay. Since she came home a little more than two years ago, she’s been hospitalized nineteen times, the longest stay being two weeks.

Lesson 1: Babies Should Never Be Alone

The first night of Tara’s hospital stay, before the doctors knew how seriously ill the baby was, the PICU staff suggested Kat get some rest in the parents’ waiting area. Kat dozed four hours before being awakened to hear some terrible news. Tara had crashed shortly after Kat went to sleep, and the medical team had spent four hours reviving her. Things were so grim no one could take a break to alert Kat.

The news shook Kat to the core. “What if my baby had died?” she says. “She deserved so much more than a death with doctors shouting frantically and tubes being forced down her throat. She needed someone who loved her nearby, someone who could tell her how special she was, someone to pray over her and comfort her.”

In that moment, Kat vowed that her daughter would never again be without someone beside her during her hospitalization. Usually either Kat, her husband Jim or Kat’s mother were at Tara’s side. But as Tara’s hospital stay lengthened, Kat asked her church family to get involved. “People signed up for  2 or 4 hours shifts, and while they were there, we would get some sleep or have some family time,” Kat explains. “I told them that if anything happened, even the slightest sign of her condition going downhill, to call me. I would be right there.”

Lesson 2: Parents Should Never Be Alone

The experience also grew Kat’s compassion for parents of hospitalized kids. “They need more support,” she says. “They need to be met at the hospital entrance door by someone who’s been through what they’re about to go through. They need someone to tell them they are not alone.” Whenever Kat hears of a parent with a seriously ill child in the hospital, she takes them a comfy pillow, an inexpensive blanket at Ikea, and a coffee card. Since reading A Different Dream, she’s decided to give them a copy of the book, too.

“The parents are often forgotten,” she says. “Everyone is concentrating so hard on the child, there’s no one to comfort the parent.”

Lesson 3: God Doesn’t Waste a Hurt

“The biggest thing I’ve learned,” says Kat, “is that God doesn’t waste a hurt. God uses you in your pain and and in your strength. Your greatest ministry comes out of your greatest pain. That’s what I do now – not because I’m perfect, but because I’m willing. I still hurt, but it helps me to help others.”

What Lessons Have You Learned?

If God is using your hurt to help others, please leave a comment. Or share the valuable lessons you learned while your child was hospitalized so we can learn from you.

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